The EveryDay

Reproduce

2011-01-25T18:39:00.002-05:00

It's 5:21pm on a Tuesday in January. I'm alone in my kitchen. This is extremely rare, the quiet. I just finished talking on the phone with Julie who's 3hrs away at her parents with the boys, she said do something you enjoy tonight, watch a movie, go buy a book. I decided to start by going for a run, it had actually warmed up enough that shorts was weird, but not frostbite weird. The run felt good, just as I was running up the final hill my favorite Relient K song "celebrate the day" came on via shuffle (yes it's from the Christmas album) - I sang out of breath my favorite line singing "here is where you're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve, and from the lack of my persistency, we're less than half as close as I want to be". The song continues on in celebration that Jesus is our saviour, meeting us exactly where we are at and saving us here, despite the fact that we seem to constantly stay at the same place.
So I get home and I decide I want tonight to be one of those nights that I never forget, one of those moments when I encountered God, I want to wake up tomorrow with the urge to mark this spot like Jacob did, so that I never forget that God spoke to me.

Okay so I'm not sure this is really appropriate. God calls the shots, if He wants to speak with me then He will. I can't just stop and expect Him to show up, can I? I feel Him all the time nudging me closer, and I typically shut my brain off and watch some mind numbing t.v. or browse through sport articles on my ipod or check my email (which I already checked 4 minutes ago) - like my brain is trying to do now. But no. Not tonight. I'm at a crossroads in my life (yah it's cliche) but really it's true. God has always showed up for me, every step of my life. He has led me and I've followed. I need Him now. My prayer for as far back as I can remember has been "God use me to do something great". And over the years I've wrestled through the root of this desire, is it about me or about God. And to be honest it's about both. I'm not a theological brainchild, I'm not an incredible leadership strategist, I'm not the popular charismatic teaching pastor, not the most disciplined, but the gift I've been given is Faith and just enough of the rest to understand what it takes to really have that gift. I can see it in my son, he is most happy when he is doing something significant (he quickly figures out when his screwdriver isn't the real screwdriver, he wants to be involved and it's gotta count - real vacuum, real dishes, real hammer please). I get it, that's me. Why create me God if I can't be a part of what you are up to? Why give me this gift of Faith? A gift that I'm still trying to figure out - as of right now I believe Faith is the burning desire within me to risk, to try to new things because this crazy Faith - ongoing confidence that God is an unshakable foundation. I relate with Peter, I'd love to have the opportunity to jump on water. Which is probably why the lyrics "if you're all you claim to be then I'm not loosing anything" from sidewalk prophets really hits my heart.

So, after all this thinking as I type, God has reminded me of who He's created me to be. Gifts are meant for the body, for the Church - 1 Cor 12:4:11. I've always been a start up guy, the guy with enough Faith to start something new, the guy who hardly see's something new as a risk - simply because "if it is of God it will not fail" and so why not? This is what I have to bring to the body, the Church. The faith to enable and empower others to risk and do that new thing, and I've been given enough of the other parts to help others understand what role in the body they are to play.

Reproduce. Genesis 1 - 10 this is a major theme. Everything is created to create. And it hit me the other day as I was reading this. It's also stuck out to me all day. Tonight I want to learn more on this. I want to hear from God on what this means for my life, for my specific calling.

And so I will listen.

Babies = Change

2010-11-30T12:51:00.002-05:00

A couple night's ago my wife Julie and I collapsed on our two pleather opposing couches in our main room. Pleather is an excellent choice for people with babies, no stains or smells if we keep on top of it. Julie sat in the love seat with her knees up, and I stretched out in the three seater. Julie shared about how her relationship with God is different now. Her life was different now and so were her opportunities to experience God. In highschool she remembered those high energy conferences, when you were the center of other's energy. When the leadership breathed God's Word to you in a new way, when the lights and the music were about creating an environment for you to encounter God. She remembered in her university years joining a ministry team and being a part of creating these moments for others. As she reflected on washing feet she remembered just how close God felt. Now things are different. She has been removed from the glamour, seemingly trapped within the four walls of our home. Left to experience God in the few moments she finds to catch her breath. Starting a new family shakes up all routine, it leaves you feeling unbalanced.

It was just over two weeks ago that our second son was born. After a few days nameless we landed on Zyan. I gave Julie a big speech as to why it should be Zyan. Here's the summary... I've always loved the name Zion, but thought it didn't really feel like a name. So I mixed up the letter's a bit came up with Zyan. Zyan means "little king". Zion spelled Zion means "highest point" and in the Old Testament was the name the Israelites while in exile used to describe the place of their longing. Zion was the dream of Israel/Jerusalem in all it's glory. And in the New Testament Zion is used to describe the place of our longing, Heaven in all it's glory, the Kingdom finally in place as God intends. So my prayer for Zyan is that God will use him to display God's Kingdom on earth, Heaven here.
Yes I realize that prior paragraph is a sidenote. But that's what children do, they capture your thoughts when you least expect it and mess with what you know as the norm.
I've thought a lot about my conversation with Julie. I've wrestled with solutions for her. I've wrestled with solutions for myself in the midst of this huge change. I have discovered that sometimes the present change is simply to be embraced, you must change along with it. I have discovered that God wants to shake things up a bit. God's story is full of this truth. The sun sets and rises and the new morning is different then the day before. Our God is constant, yes. Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Yet the day changes. Babies create a permenant change in many areas, they call us to react. Regarding how we encounter God we decided we must reimagine, rediscover and recreate ways to encounter and experience Him in the present change. God invites us to be active in this.

Churches need to have babies.

God is always at work to make His churches reproduce, to make babies. God desires to shake things up. He wants His Church to constantly reimagine, rediscover and recreate ways to encounter and experience His Son Jesus. The question for each local church what does your baby look like? How will you be giving birth this year?

As God leads churches to new birth. I'm excited to see what routines we will be called to examine. Will it be Leadership, The Building, Worship, Programing... What a privilege to embrace change alongside Jesus. What an adventure it will be. I'm so excited to see what new things I will learn, so excited to be a part of the process of encountering and experiencing God afresh.

Thank God for babies...

Play-Doh

2010-01-19T15:07:00.000-05:00

Tonight we were at our friends house for home group and while the adults have the study and prayer portion of the night, the kids are rounded up and play together in another room. My friend thought it would be fun to have them play with play dough, so we put them around the table and rolled up their sleeves. Of course it didn't take long before one was crying. It seemed that one of them wanted a knife to cut the play dough with and so we found a plastic one in the box. Well it didn't take long before each child had to have a knife. We searched the kitchen drawers for more plastic knives and eventually each child had one. However, that wasn't enough because once they saw the shiny knife they all wanted that one, and then once they saw the pumpkin carving knife they all wanted that one and then they wanted the black plastic knife. What was interesting is that they were never happy with what they did have. As an adult I was able to see that clearly the play dough knife was the best one for the purpose of cutting and shaping play dough but they could not see it. They were too involved in the action to be able to see clearly and use proper judgment (and they're only 2 and 3 years old).

I felt the scene may be familiar to what God witnesses sometimes. He has given us the things we need, even way more than we need but it is never enough. It is never the right thing, or the thing that someone else has. When we are down deep in our messy lives we get so distracted by what other people have that we forget to be thankful and appreciative of what we do have. God has greatly blessed me with both immaterial and material blessings. He has given me just what I need to do the job that He has called me to. May I not be so focused on looking at what my neighbor has that I forget to see what God has given me and be thankful for it and use it for His purpose.

No other god so near

2010-01-18T14:52:00.006-05:00

God made His point quite clear on Sunday morning when I turned to greet a new family during the classic "turn and greet" portion of our service.

The handshake and awkward conversation that followed was really the conclusion of a funny story which began a couple weeks prior at the Olympic Torch Relay ceremony in downtown Owen Sound. At the Torch Relay Coca Cola was kindly handing out free unique 2010 Olympic 250ml bottles. My brother in law started downing them and putting away a "couple" for later. I got in on the action and soon had a couple pockets full (about 8). As we were waiting for the Torch to come by a man quickly made his way past us handing out limited ed. glowing coca cola bottles. We received 3 (1 for each of us) and waved them proudly as the Torch came streaming by. Later when we returned home my brother in law (always looking for quick money) checked eBay to see if these limited ed. bottles were selling, sure enough they were going for about $30 a pop - pun intended. Next day I had all 3 of ours up on eBay and the bids were coming in from Italy, Australia, Belgium, China, US and even Kingston ON. This quick money drove me to want more of the action. So I took it further, I put together an ad (saying I'd pay $10 for your Olympic Glow Bottles) on our local classifieds (Kijiji Owen Sound), and shelled out a couple extra $ to advertise on the main page top banner for everyone to see.

The view counter went nuts, 10 people, then 20, then 160 and now it's almost 400. But only 1 call. It was a young woman whose children wanted to sell their glow bottles and I was to meet them at about 12:30. After getting out the cash I was becoming embarrassed, I'm not a coke memorabilia fanatic, what was I doing? How was I going to explain this? Julie made it clear she was staying in the car. As we pulled up to a very nice home the children's faces pressed up against the window and I knocked on the door. I was invited in. I ended up buying a flag, 7 more glow bottles and a couple aluminum ones. I told the woman how I was planning to sell them on eBay and I tried to act somewhat normal making small talk with the children who were collecting money to buy a Nintendo DSI. The bottles were in pretty rough shape (wrinkled, torn, ripped) I wasn't sure if I'd be able to sell them, but I took the whole bunch for $40. As we pulled out of the driveway Julie said "I bet you'll run into them again" although I was hoping I was finished with the awkwardness.

"We know you, you bought coke bottles from us" was the first thing she said when I turned around to shake their hands. The husband gave me the same look he had on the day I came by their house. I quickly clued in to what was going on and asked the kids if they'd raised enough for their DSI and then I kept smiling and slowly turned around to sing worship to my God.

I worshipped God like I hadn't in quite a while, as it felt like God was laughing at the outcome of His inside joke. I laughed along as the joke was on me. I had stepped right into His kicker, the catch point, He had me all along knowing this Sunday's "turn and greet" would be lots of fun.

A point well made. I'm called to be in this position, I have responsibilities. God is watching how I operate my life on a daily basis. I can't make a couple extra dollars on the side without His knowing. It's impossible to categorize my life, and I don't normally want to. Except for the days I find myself involved in things I'm not overly proud of. These are the days I'd like to keep hidden from God.

I am reminded that God is omnipresent. (He's everywhere, knows every situation). That can be comforting or concerning. Depends on how we live our lives. Deut 4:7 " For what great nation has a god as near to them as the Lord our God is near to us..." No other god is so near as our God.

I Refuse To Do That

2010-01-14T20:22:00.006-05:00

I often find myself coming to the place where I have been neglecting reading the Bible for way too long and then when I am ready to get back into it I just don't know where to start. I did that today for awhile as I was reading various beginnings of books or trying to just open to a random spot and see if God would speak to me through it. Well, I ended up in Galations, one of Paul's letters. I love these books, they still remain to be some of my favorites. I was reading about how our lives are not set right before God by rule keeping but instead through our relationship with Jesus. Trying to improve myself does not necessarily please God. It also talks about how this same idea applies to how I relate to others. It is not important that I appear righteous before others either and that peer pleasing religion wreaks everything that makes my relationship with God free and personal.
Sometimes I wish there was this big list of rules. I am for the most part a rule follower and sometimes I just think life is easier when I am just told what to do. I think that is why I always did well in school. But when I really think about what following a big set of rules would do for my relationship with God it would just become another thing in my life that I get done. I would get it finished for the day and then move on to whatever is next. That is so not my desire and my relationship with God is nothing like that. It is a relationship, it is personal and unlike anyone else's because I am unlike anyone else. I guess this is why it doesn't help me to compare myself to others or try to convince others that I am perfectly righteous. Of course I want to be encouraged and encourage others but I want to make sure I am doing it for the right reasons. Christ lives in me. God is already impressed by me. I want to continue to rely on the Holy Spirit living in me to shape and control my thoughts and actions. Hopefully in doing this I may encourage all those that I have the opportunity to influence.

If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.
Galations 2: 21 (msg)

Julie

Discount Romance Packages

2010-01-13T21:15:00.003-05:00

Last Friday during my day off I thought I'd surprise Julie a find the movie she's been wanting to watch (Love Happens). Problem was that it wasn't yet available to rent, so I thought I'd find it somewhere on the internet and just watch it online - I wasn't looking to download it, I just thought it might be in youtube or something. Turns out it was a terrible idea. I found it on some random site and so I set up the new projector (bought it used off ebay before Christmas), turned on the gas fireplace (which Julie and I put the finishing touches on just a couple days prior) and cuddled up to Julie on our big couch (yes I cuddle and yes our couch in the basement is big). 30 seconds into the movie pop-ups start jumping out of the screen and within 30 seconds my computer is on to a blue screen with the sentence "dumping memory" then silence and black screen.

Sometimes I just want the easy get deeper with God romance package. I want to sit down on my big couch with Jesus and stream into my life - a deeper devotional and prayer life. I quickly how found that life doesn't work this way, you have to create time to build a deeper relationship, it has to cost you something, you have to work at it. Sometimes I feel God saying "It cost Me something, why do you think it shouldn't cost you anything?

So, I'm working at it. It's easy to get lazy in our relationship with God, but it's so clear where this gets us. I was struck by Jeremiah 11:21 "the shepherds of my people have lost their senses. They no longer follow the Lord or ask what he wants of them. Therefore, they fail completley, and their flocks are scattered".

I'm given the blessing of being a modern day shepherd of God's flock and not only the flock but God has given me a family that watches how I live.

My Prayer - May I never loose my senses, Oh God forgive me if I do not ask what You want of me - May I not cause your people and my family to scatter from you, but the opposite. May You by your Holy Spirit teach me to know You, Help me to seek you with all my heart.

Love Learned

2010-01-12T21:24:00.004-05:00

When Greg had this idea to commit to writing about what we were learning and how we were being challenged I was excited about the possibility and what it could become. I may have secretly even had this crazy idea that I could be the next 'Julie' from "Julie and Julia" and people all over the world would be anticipating my next post. However, now as I sit here with Rowan sleeping in my one arm (because at 8 months he still refuses to nap in his crib) and writing this out the old fashioned pen and paper way (because Greg's computer broke down) I am having more than second thoughts. Despite my feelings of inadequacy as a writer and even as a learner, I am determined to give this my best shot and commit to writing 3 or 4 times a week about what God is teaching me and some of my insights as a house wife and new mom.
I became a mom almost 8 months ago and it really has welcomed me to an entirely new world. Nothing could have even prepared me for this new experience and way of life but also for the love that I would develop for this new life. If was my first love at first sight experience and as the days and months have passed the love has continued to grow stronger and stronger for this little baby boy, my beautiful Rowan. Of course I have been in love before; with my amazing husband, family and friends too, but this love was just different. There is nothing that Rowan does necessarily to make me love him or even anything that he could do that would make me love him more. I just love him, everything about him, from the messy stuff to the cute fun stuff. He is my most precious, amazing little boy. All this to say that I believe that after having a child it has allowed me to understand just a bit of Gods love for me. In the same way that I love and cherish Rowan, God loves me that much and more. As hard as it is for me to wrap my head around, He doesn't hold my sins over me and allow them to effect the way He feels about me. His love love has no conditions or expectations or even limitations. While I recognize that I can't do anything to make God love me more it doesn't mean that I shouldn't try to please Him more. As I gaze down at Rowan as he sleeps I love every curve and line on his face and every hair on his head. He is my creation (and of course God's too). When he hurts, I hurt. When he laughs and smiles, so do I. I believe God looks down from heaven at me with somewhat similar thoughts, loving everything He sees.
My prayer is that I might not forget the crazy love that God feels towards me. May my actions and thoughts not be ruled by guilt or fear but out of understanding this remarkable love from God. May I have confidence in who I am and what I am to become being sure that there was no mistake made when God created me. Knowing that when he looks at me He loves everything He sees and He will be looking upon my life with those eyes as I continue to become the woman, wife and mother He wants me to be.

Dry on Cracked Cisterns

2010-01-11T15:19:00.005-05:00

It's official I've entered the "dry season", which always seems to follow the Christmas and New Year festivities. This year however, seems dryer then ever. And the Spirit within me has been warning me of this for weeks, months even. It's what happens when you slowly let little injustices harpoon you. You get tired of empathy and begin to think and see every situation through your own unfortunate eyes. You begin to think too highly of yourself and just keep running on your past wise decisions and disciplines. I now find myself on the other side. Empty, dry, because I've forsaken "the fountain of living water and have dug for myself cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all" (Jeremiah 2:13)
The irony of it all is that I just finished a teaching a series on falling in love with Jesus: loving the things he loves. Getting back to the foundation of being a follower of Jesus. Actually falling deeper in love with him. I want to be falling in love with Jesus in a deeper way, but lately I've just been too tired, too undisciplined, too compromising.

Here begins a plea for things to change.

Today I ask God "make me want you, make me passionate for you again, I don't know how to regain my desire for you, but I know it's the source of my confusion, lack of motivation and underlying heart which has grown cynical and disillusioned"

A return to discipline, a return to my first love
5 chapters on week days
Honest conversations with God daily
A commitment to write 2-3 times a week on opposite days to Julie

The Blurr...

2009-06-02T13:24:00.003-04:00

I was talking with a friend of mine after church in our churches gym during our volunteer appreciation bbq (which by the way I made a mess of because I didn't think to get the bbq's and burgers started early - I just figured we'd all eat by 12:30... That's not what everyone else was figuring... anyways we endend up eating by 12:30 just as I had thought). But back to my conversation with a friend he said something that stuck... it was "you'll never get the last weeks back... you'll be lucky if you remember them"

2 weeks ago I became a dad. And it's been a blurr. Fact is you'll never get any moment back. But in some senses you never loose them. I'll never forget that 12:30 wake-up call as Julie's water broke and we rushed to the hospital. I'll never loose those many hours of watching Julie go through painful labor, and I'll never loose that memory of holding Rowan in my arms for the first time, cutting the ambilical cord... crazy stuff. And as I looked into his eyes I knew we didn't have a whole lot to do with making this boy.

Nobatheth Genesis 17

2008-05-22T10:39:00.006-04:00

I tried something new for our Genesis Jr. High (gr. 6-8) Ministry the other day. I created this video. I find with students mixing up the teaching techniques works well, they seemed to pay attention.

Here's a link to my youtube video posting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxPlBaTqycs

Open Every Sunday

2008-03-17T14:24:00.002-04:00

I complain, a lot. In the bad sense of the word, it's something I'm not proud of. I work hard not to complain cause to look like Christ Paul has said we are to "do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like the stars in the universe".

However, I'd like to argue that there is a good sense of the word complain, a sense that forces Christ followers not to accept everything the way they are. And so try to take this complaint in the good sense. Yesterday prior to "Palm Sunday" I drove past two information signs outside of churches, one said "OPEN EVERY SUNDAY" and the other said "PALM SUNDAY MARCH 16". That was it just those two churches with two short phrases.

They annoyed me. First of all for the unchurched majority of folks who drive by a "church building" how would these signs speak to them? Might as well be "FIG or WILLOW SUNDAY" what does that mean? And "OPEN EVERY SUNDAY" are you kidding me? That big brick building is open every Sunday? What about the rest of the week? What's the point of that place, why would anyone ever want to go there?

We should use the signs to apoligize to our community, to announce that we care. I'm just sick of information signs speaking the language of the churched! Why do we even have information signs.

later
G.

Time to Create

2007-07-31T16:00:00.001-04:00

Yes it's been a while, I realize.

Much has changed.

The forty day thing is over, I'm still persuing God, and as always He's persuing me, I'm just not writing all the details down.
I have some really cool new friends under the age of twenty. (youth)
I have some really inspirational new friends over the age of twenty. (youth leaders, parents, co-workers).
I've heard from God specifically on a number of exciting things.
Our Jr. Youth group will be called Genesis "We are about a relationship with our Creator"
Sr. Youth will be called Exodus "We are a community of youth abandoning all that oppreses to journey towards holiness"
I have an office.
I'm going canoeing
I saw Jesus in the faces of broken and rejected children in Manitoba. I saw joy restored in the faces of children who came into new and renewed relationship with Jesus.
I'm preaching in a couple weeks, my sermon will be called "the journey was never intended to be comfortable"

Back to work...

Day Twenty Eight : The Truth is....

2007-06-18T16:32:00.000-04:00

On the weekend julie asked me "are you nervous, anxious, or excited about starting your new job" I answered with the pastored up answer "I know this is God's place for me, and I know God will come through, I'm ready, I'm clam".

Truth is I'm not really feeling "excitement" for July 3rd, my first day of work. I'm am feeling excitement for this image in my head of youth asking questions about Jesus, and youth wanting to pray all night, and youth wanting to be Jesus to their friends. But Truth is this excitment also leaves me nervous about failing, about failing my wife, my family, my friends, the church, the congregants, the youth, and God. Truth is I'm anxious, as much as I'd like July 3rd to come, part of me is also okay right were I am. I'm in safe zone, everyone's expectations are still in tact, I don't have to do anything, I can't fail yet because I haven't arrived. But with each day the pressure is mounting.

To quell my nervous heart God keeps saying. "Take hold of that Spiritual gift of Faith that I've given you, it's yours for a reason. Remember I took Israel out of Egypt (like I'm taking you out of Ajax) and as Moses stood by the Red Sea (and as your standing looking at a large seemingly impossible challenge), as their enemies came roaring after them, (as the task at hand seems messy and insurmountable) I told Moses and I'm telling you "Be still and know, I will fight for you; you need only be still" Exodus 14:4

So today after spending too much time writing out "Summer Vision Goals" I felt God saying

"just be still and know"
"I will fight for you"
"I will establish my name"
"Just fully trust in me"
"the best thing you can do is run to me daily"
"your job is to model to the youth depedence on me"
"be still in my promises, in my presence, be still"

"THE TRUTH IS... I will deliver"

Day Twenty Seven : Prayer makes me sleepy : 2 guys named Chris

2007-06-18T15:17:00.000-04:00

After spending much of my day tying up loose ends prior to our upcoming move. i.e cancelling our phone with Rogers, starting up a new plan with Bell (Rogers home phone can't be transfered to Owen Sound unfortunately, b/c -Rogers is cheaper, and offers more special discounts). Anyways I eventually grabbed my red tuck-tapped bible and streched out on our burgandy carpet to read through some of 1 Corinthians.

By the way Muskoka was lovely. We ate dinner at Beauideal Resturant in Port Sydney, and then I had Kawartha Moose Tracks ice cream and Julie had raspberry yogurt - just delicious! On Sunday we had breakfast on the dock, Julie and I read through parts of Isaiah and John together discussing "vineyard" imagery. We decided that God once called Israel to be the vine and other nations were to be blessed through them, but they were a barren vineyard which eventually was cut-off only to usher in the "true vine" Jesus. Now Jesus is the Vine and all of us are now able to bless others and be in union with God via Jesus.

But back to 1 Corinthians. There's a lot God spoke to me about but I'd like to share these two ideas.

1. CHECK YOUR MOTIVATION -

1 Corinthians 4:5 "He will bring to light what is hidden in the darkness and will expose the motives of peoples hearts"

When I read this God asked me "Are you persuing me to be empowered by the Holy Spirit? Is that your motivation? If it is your wrong. Persue me just to discover more about me, persue me to be with your creator, persue me just to be with me, for the satisfaction of just being present with me".

As I persue God a by product of our deepening relationship will be the empowering of the Holy Spirit to use me. God want's my foremost motive in persuing Him to just be Him. That's all. Let that sink in, it's actually took me a while to really get this.

A friend of mine (Chris Lewis) has actually heard God speak into his life recently about his motivation and he described this lesson on his blog saying.

"On the particularly long drive back to Philadelphia I thought that I would shut down this blog for a while, perhaps until the end of August. I think I need to spend less time worrying about what people think of me, of what I write, and who they perceive me to be and more time figuring life out, what I want, what God wants and how to move towards that"

(check out his blog, he left some very helpful quotes, and thoughts)

2. CHECK YOUR PERCEPTION

1 Corinthians 4:7-8 "For who makes your different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not recieve? And if you did recieve it, why do you boast as through you did not? Already you have all you want! Already you have become rich! You have become kings-and that without us. How I wish that you really had become kings so that we might be king with you."

Sometimes like these Corithians I forget that I don't deserve to be holy in God's eyes. Sometimes I forget that I'm really no different then the multitude of other broken people. In Chris Folmsbee's book "A New Kind of Youth Ministry" Chris says "There's no such thaing as "us" and "them". It's all one big us. The only thing that makes me as a believer different is the grace of God.

The second part of this verse reminds me of the journey "arrived yet distant" concept. God doesn't want me in my holiness via positional sanctification (from Christ) to forget about the necessary progressive sanctification (work of the Spirit) which is a daily thing. I must remain in the inbetween, the satisfied yet unsatisfied, the rich yet poor, the king yet slave. I need to hold both of these realies in my perspective.

After I finished reading I tried to pray but I got sleepy so I layed down on the floor, but I knew if I closed my eyes I wouldn't get much praying done. So I got up on the couch and slowly I started to slip my head down, I even decided to go lay down in bed but just as I flopped myself unto the covers I was reminded of the story of Jesus' disciples who always fell asleep when they were supposed to be praying. So I got up and kneeled at the bed. I think I know why people kneel by their beds, it's hard to fall asleep when kneeling.

After I finally beat off the sleepyness I had a good time of prayer. My advice, try to stay uncomfortable during prayer.

Day Twenty Four : Still thinking about Heaven

2007-06-15T14:30:00.000-04:00

For the last couple hours I've been looking out at "lake Scugog" here in Port Perry. I can't seem to figure out what all that brown stuff is. It's sad to see the lakes already polluted and school's not even out.

Today I read the last couple chapters of Revelation. My thought's picked up from yesterday's post...

Growing up I'd always understood that one day I'd leave this broken world to go to a perfect mansion with Jesus where I'd live forever. Now I'm wondering if that's exactly what God has in mind. Maybe that's only the frist part of the end story, maybe the rest is " after a while we return to a new and put back together earth with Jesus where we hang out eternally" I'm intrigued, not ready to drop the firm conclusion's of my roots (trying to figure out if they really are any different, or if this is all just coming together for me now). I'm ready to ask questions (and this is a big scarry step, I have this sense that asking means I'm doubting, which means I'm loosing faith, but the truth is I'm not, my faith has never been so alive, because like I was saying the other day, Jesus will never let me go, and asking deepens and broadens my faith).

I'm ready to ask God for clarity, ready to trust God for clarity, ready to know some things don't have black and white answers, but also ready to open the door to investigation to find answers.

Rev 21. The New Jerusalem drops down to it's final resting place, heaven and earth are merged yet they are "new".

An area needing clarity. Is Rob Bell saying that the passing of the "old earth" is symbolic of the passing of the old realm of authority, which was the devil's? And not that the passing of the "old earth" is literal, meaning it was actually burnt up, cleansed and made new. God has done both in the past, Destroying and making new (ie. the Flood), and the Restoration thing (ie. Salvation and Sanctification via Jesus).

2 Peter 3:10 leans towards destruction "The heavens will disappear with a roar,' the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be?" Good question, God's making me Holy, I'm to be a light to the world to allow God to bring people into a saving (opening) and restoring relationship with Him. How does God want me to be transformed by this information of the end times destruction?

In Bell's sermon he warned us against "having this were getting out of here mentality". But when I read this verse I can see how this mentality was developed.

Essentially will the earth we now live on be destroyed or restored or both?

In Bell's sermon he said jokinly "I'm afraid some Christian's will be on their way up while God will be on his way down" he also said "when Luke talks about one person staying and the other person being taken up, I wanna be the person that stays". I get what he's saying but personally if the earth is going to be destroyed or at least remodelled/restored I'm not sure I'd want to be here, there's just too much cement.

And then I hear the voice of God saying to me (not outloud unfortunately)

"persue me, just persue me, trust me, just trust me, it will all make sense, eventually".

I'm off to Muskoka. Living the dream...

Day Twenty Three : My sister graduated, I ordered salmon.

2007-06-14T23:43:00.000-04:00

Today I had a neat chat with Jesus while on the Go Bus to Toronto. I listened to my shuffle (i know not as cool as the 60 G video, but I love it dearly). I listened to Rob Bell's April 22nd sermon titled "Wine and Heaven", it got me thinking and asking God some tough questions. In further study of this sermon I read a blog called Messianic Jewish Musings which discusses Bell's idea of heaven/hell.

In this blog Derek Leman summarizes Bell's concept of heaven saying that "heaven will be on earth". In the April 22 podcast Bell strongly argues that "no where in the Bible does it say we are all going to die and go to a far away heaven forever" And Leman summarizes this idea saying that "Heaven will only be our home in the in-between time — in between our death and the resurrection of the dead at the end of the age. At that time, we will live on the New Earth".

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts.

That's all for today. I just arrived home, and now I'm off to bed. Tommorow I depart for the weekend to Muskoka to celebrate our 3 year anniversary (which was June 12th). Sweet.

Day Twenty Two : 22 Lessons Learned Thus Far

2007-06-13T15:14:00.001-04:00

Persuing Jesus for forty days is'nt enough. It's a lifetime journey. I cannot stop.
God persued me first
God persues me harder
God is making me and will make me holy, He will never give up.
I am responsible for persuing God.
When I don't persue Jesus, when I fail, the best thing to do is persue again.
I will not become completely holy untill I leave this body, (the duality of now and then).
Yet because of Jesus I am currently completely holy. (my title "arrived yet distant")
It's a process. Being honest about the process is the best thing a follower of Jesus can do.
None of this macho junk, we aren't perfect, that's why we needed a savior. And just because we've crossed the line of faith doesn't mean we will automatically become perfect.
It's a process, and people can relate to the process, people won't stay and wallow in their failures if they know it's okay to not be perfect, there's grace.
Jesus will help us get back on our feet and back on the road to holiness.
Jesus lay's the bricks on the road to holiness, we are able to take the step because of Jesus.
Each step we take towards holiness comes by our admission that we need Jesus' help. By this admission Jesus moves us closer to him, closer to holiness.
If we would just be people who live daily a life of surrender, trust, and faith. Jesus can work with us.
The greatest lie Satan gets us to believe is that were independent, strong, without need of a God relationship. It's the lie he told Eve in the garden, it's the lie he still whispers today, he covered it then with the simple tasting of fruit, today he covers this root idea of self dependency on a multitude of fronts.
The Holy Spirit speaks clearly on matters of holiness.
Some day's I just need to talk with Jesus, I just need to sense His presence.
Some day's following a strict routine is frustrating, but reading, praying and journaling will always benefit one's walk with God.
Sometimes you must talk to and worship God even when you don't feel like it.
God has designed the concept of relationship in order to make us holy. It is my relationship with God that makes me holy, it is my realtionship with God that makes others around me holy.
Marriage and close friendships are essentially a beautiful mini-representation of the intimate relationship we have with God, God uses marriage and friendship to make us holy.

Day Twenty One : The constant 100% God and Me at 48%, 72%, 21%

2007-06-12T15:01:00.000-04:00

As I've committed to persue Jesus, I've found it increasingly difficult. I can think of many excuses for my lack of writing about the last 7 days. Not enough time, I've been away at conferences, weddings, the internet was out 4 days since last friday because the line was cut by a fallen tree, I haven't felt like it, I was guilty because I didn't actually read my 1 hour and pray my 30 minutes. But to be honest the problem has trulybeen both external and internal, today as I went for a walk I said to God "Jesus hold me tight through this time". The problem is I don't feel like I can be truly honest about the thoughts which have come into my brian recently. What would people think if they read this blog? Thoughts about questioning, and doubt, thoughts about a desire to sin. I think the more I wreslte in my heart with these feelings, doubts, thoughts (which are not typical of me) I choose to blame the evil one. He decieves, is it possible then that Satan actually causes me to question God, has he caused me to desire to sin? When Jesus is in the desert, Satan tried to destroy him, is Satan trying to destroy me? Of course. But did Jesus ever question that He was the Son of God, if he had then he would have sinned, no Jesus didn't doubt, he believed what God the Father said "You are my Son, with whom I am well pleased". Jesus didn't believe Satan's lies, yet sometimes I do.

Some of the blame can go to Satan for his deception, but some must go to my own failing, my own inability to trust God, my own wrechedness. For as I persue holiness and righteousness Satan tries to disrupt this, the sad thing this sometimes I let him. I haven't persued God harder, I've disobeyed after hearing from the Spirit truth, I've chosen to believe Satan's lies. I made the sinful decision. And this sin drives a wedge between me and God, forcing me away from my holy maker. YET IN THIS STATE I AM NOT CONTENT. In this struggle I feel lost, untill I remember to open my mouth, the Word, and plea for my rescuer is not far away. "I will never leave you nor forsake you". Satan tries hard to put me and keep me in a state of defeat, to keep me aware (guilt) and in my sin, I am useless to the Kingdom here. I'm too ashmed to go to God and admit that I failed, I didn't hold on to you, I buckled under the lies, I sinned, I'm confused, broken and desperate. But going to God is the only way out, saying to him "I need you to drive Satan away, I need you to overpower my sinful thoughts and desires, I need your blood to cleanse me, to wash me, to fix me, to embrace me with purpose and strength. I need you, I need you to persue me harder, God help".

I am freed captive, yet at times I become captive again, losing sight of perspective, of my enternal freedom, sins wraps itself around me like a wild vine.

But thank Jesus. The New Testament was written. Because reading only the OT tends to get you in this legalistic thinking, guilt riddled, and overcome without hope. The NT speaks into our failures, turning the focus off us and onto God. At least from my perspective sometimes the Old Testament forgets to emphasize grace, and without grace I'm shot, I'm toast, I'm overcome.

Today as I was praying God gave me this incredible verse I Corinthians 1:8 "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord is faithful".

I'm able to rest with joy knowing Jesus will keep me strong. I won't keep me strong. Jesus will not give up on me, He will not stop working on making me blamesless, holy. Thankyou Jesus for never failing, so that in my failure I have a hope.

What I've learned.. Holiness is a process, to be just a bit holy today than yesterday is the goal, yet some days it might not work out that way. It's okay because Jesus will one day make me as holy as possible, I will be free from this thorn of the flesh.. from the sin, doubts, and failings. I won't be entangled any longer by guilt.

This got me thinking, people who believe they will be good enough when they die to get to heaven by their good and moral lives haven't much hope. If God is 100% holy and His holiness consumes anything/one that's 99% or less then you find me anyone who's actually able to stand in the presence of God at %100 without Jesus standing in front of them. Yes people can be good people who give to charity, and love their neighbours, and feed the poor and sick, and buy coffee's on Tim Horton's camp day while dropping their change into the plastic heart & stroke containers, yet 80% good isn't good enough. It's impossible to not at some point lie, covet, steal...

He's a 100% God.

Oh yah. Two books I've read over the last couple days which were really good, especially the first one. "A New Kind of Youth Ministry" and Contemplative Youth Ministry".

Day Fourteen : Israel's Holy War. to the end of Numbers

2007-06-05T15:07:00.000-04:00

Did Jesus intend by his response in Matthew 26:52-54 to initiate and propose an end to war?

In Gethsemane Jesus was arrested by an armed mob, Peter in Jesus' defense cuts off the ear of one of the priests servants. Jesus in response says "Put your sword back in its place" "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword." Then Jesus says "Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?".

What did Jesus really mean?

1. Did Jesus not fight back simply because the Scriptures said he was to be submissive? Was his response intended to be unique to this situation?
2. Or was Jesus beginining a new era? Jesus plainly says "anyone who lives by the sword will die by the sword". Jesus is basically saying to Peter "I can play that game, I can have 72,000 angels here in seconds, I'd win the fight but lose the battle, the whole war concept is getting old, the sword leads to death, I've come to usher in life, I am the ressurection and the life, I have come to usher in peace on earth, that's what my Kingdom is all about".

So as a follower of Jesus, what is to be my response to war? What is to be the Churches response to war? Personally as complicated and impossible as it seems I'm leaning towards answer number 2. Now I don't believe Jesus was saying war would end immediately, ( in fact it won't untill revelation 20:9 during the last war) in the same way that sickness, death, and corruptness still exists. But I do believe Jesus was initiating the end. Jesus was the first to taste the end's benefits, as of right now were caught in a duality of time, sin has been defeated and yet it has not yet been eradicated. The Spirit within equips and calls Jesus followers to model for the world what living freely from sin looks like, holiness has been enabled by Christ's death. How does this apply to war? Just like sin, sickness, and death remains, war remains. But aren't we to model the opposite? In the place of sin - holiness, sickness - hope, death - life, war - peace.

Anyways. Israel's almost first Holy War got me thinking. In Numbers 31:1-24 God declares war against the Midianties because they decieved Israel, they caused Israel to sin against God, God's plan for redemption through the Israelites suffered a blow at the hands of the Midianites. However if we look at the bigger picture, this wasn't just a war between two nations on earth, this was a war between God and Satan, God was protecting His people and His plan for redemption. Israel (God) absolutely destroys every nation in their path to the Holy land.

Currently Canada has 64,000 troops serving full or part time. At this time Israel had 12,000. In these the Hebrew Scriptures (Genesis-Malachi) God's people were Israel, they had numerous High Priests, they were His nation. Today the Church (all followers of Jesus) are God's people, Jesus is our enternal High Priest, and I am a member of the Nation of the Kingdom of God.

Things are different now. As my pastor Jon Thompson said last Sunday June 3rd "There are no Christian Nations" (to hear this sermon click here) And so as I read to the end of Numbers I felt God encouraging me to realize "things are different now". Like chapter 35 which supports the use of the death penalty, God is saying "things are different now". Like chapter 36 which supports "incest", God is clearing saying "things are different now". And like the holy purification and destruction of the sinful, God is saying "enough, put away the sword, no more war, things are different now".

Day Thirteen : Numbers 17 - 25

2007-06-04T17:16:00.000-04:00

There are days and periods when persuing God is more difficult than the previous. There are days when God's voice isn't as clear, there are days when persuing God seems mundane. But how can one's persuit of an "untamed lion" be mundane? Could it be my issue? Could it be that I've put distractions first, feelings first? Or could it be that God simply has withdrawn, pulled back, not forsaken, but given me some space for growth. Like the parent of 3 year old, there are times when the parent lets go of the child's hand, the parent never allows the child to leave their line of sight, and the parent could in a flash return again their embrace, but for the moment the hand is withdrawn.

I'm going to be honest I've never liked this senerio, however it's in this senerio that God tests our faithfulness, God test's our heart, in order to prepare us for the "wolves".

Poor God, In Numbers 20:12, God's greatest friend on earth betray's Him. Moses, the man God had chatted with face-to-face. The man God had blessed beyound my current understanding, the man God had done great wonders through, the man who'd seen it all, the man whom God befriended. We learn that Moses "did not trust" in God enough for water. Stinkin water.. Moses what were you thinkin! This broke God's heart, never again would their relationship be the same.

And then we have Balak and Balaam. Balak wanted to put a curse on the Israelites so he summoned Balaam (a man of divination/sorcery) to put a curse on the Israelites. But God actually spoke with Balaam verbally. Balaam is obedient to God, although at one point God has to speak to him through his donkey, God even fills Balaam with His Spirit. There's a part in the story where God speaks verbally to Balaam a couple times, but then God withdraws the verbal and waits for Balaam to hear God's voice from the vs 30 "habits of his donkey". Intersting that God has a way of speaking and then testing, actually trusting the one He has spoken to to be aware, to persue God further. God eventually places "oracles" in the mouth of Balaam which speak of God's blessing a eventual deliverance of the people of Israel.

Intersting that God chooses to speak this prophecy through a non-Jew.

So like Balaam I will not cease in persuing God, even if it gets a little tougher, even if I have to hear it from a donkey. I'll take His voice any way I can get it. I feel like worshipping God, I might go write a song, and play the piano.

Day Eleven & Twelve : Julie, Stephanie, Natalie, Jay, Rosanne, Kristen, Ian...

2007-06-03T19:43:00.000-04:00

The only free hour I had to read yesterday was between the hours of 1-8 am. The only free hours I've had today are the same 1-8am. I didn't read, and that's okay, God let me know persuing Him isn't about 1 hour time slots, it's not like I'm living in the book of numbers, there are a few differences between my modern Nazarite vow and the one I told you about the other day.

While I was spending time with my sisters, and friends part of me felt guilty, like I was betraying my pact with God. But God told me

"you can persue me in community"

"you are persuing me when you celebrate the blessing I've given you of family and friends"

And so I must return to the family and friends.

more to follow... tommorow.

Day Ten

2007-06-01T18:43:00.001-04:00

Boy was I schooled. I was accredited, but shesh it was hard, apparently I need to keep reading my bible as there were a bunch of questions like "tell me every spot in the bible you'd find instruction on spiritual gifts, what chapter and verse talks about healing, speaking in tounges, what book/s, chapter/s, verses would you find parables, the ten commandments. How many books are there in the Bible? How are they divided? What are the different types of literature?

Yes I knew the answers to most of these, but this is just scratching the surface. There were many times when I honestly said "I don't know" and swallowed hard, real hard (I ended up choking as I felt like my throat was closing after 2 hours of the intense deliberations).

So yes I achieved the goal, the answer I knew God had already given and that was "Go ahead serve, be a leader in the church".

Now I did read a bunch of really neat stuff in Numbers today. But at the moment I'm just a bit too tired to write it all out. I had a great time of prayer prior to my interview as I arrived 2 hours early and went to Wendy's for lunch. Then I drove to a nearby parking lot and chatted with God. I didn't feel alone, I wasn't nervous, I was confident. It wasn't untill midway in the interview that I hit a rough patch, I think they just started asking harder questions (and they didn't show any emotion, I mean there was one time I said "it's in Corinthians right?" and he said "I am asking you", then I started to sweat. However after that was done I felt the Holy Spirit give me a boost and I got some questions that I really knew well, and well I nailed them.

I learned a couple things.

1. Ordination is going to be tuff.
2. I should read a couple of those boring "Theology Books". I can't just rely on people skills, I've got to keep learning, no coasting aloud.
3. It was neat to tell my story and realize all this time it wasn't so much me persuing God as it's been God persuing me. From little boy, to highschool kid, to university lad, to seminary grad, to today and forever. God persued and persues me first.
4. Part of me isn't a fan of the concept of Christian denomination's, even though I know they are necessary.

Day Nine: Numbers 11-15

2007-05-31T15:11:00.000-04:00

Truth is I'd rather watch Jesse Litsch's first game as a major leauger than a routine start of superstar Roy Halladay. There's something about watching a rookie pitcher in thier first game. You are experiencing a moment that they have dreamt about since they first played catch. I had that opportunity the last time Julie and I went to a bluejays game, Litsch pitched 8 and 2 /3's of the game giving up just one run. Last night in his 3rd start Litsch only lasted 2/3's of an inning giving up 5 runs and was demoted back to the farm system. Tonight I'll be watching Halladay's return since he went on the DL with an emergency appendectomy (I got a sweet deal on ebay, Two 41 dollar seats for $10 including shipping)

Jesse Litsch's major leauge story and the early Israelite's stories are actually quite similar. Just like Litsch got the call up from the New Hampshire Fisher Cats to the pro's of big leauges so he could be molded into a great player, so did the Israelites. They were called up out of Epgyt into the big show, they were in the presence of greatness, the Holy God. And God was making them holy, he saw their potential, he was excited about their transformation, he was excited about handing the promise land, he was excited about defeating their enemies for them. (For Litsch the promise land would be a full time job as a starter, and defeating the enemies would be his win column over his opponents). There are a few huge differences between the two stories though. One being Litsch didn't wail and complain or say he wished he was back in New Hampshire like the Israelites did in Numbers 11 "now the people complained about their hardships.. they said "if only we had meat to eat. we remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost".. Another difference although Jesse messed up he'll most likely get another chance, those paticular Israelites weren't as fortunate as God said in Numbers 14:32 "but your bodies will fall in this desert. Your childern will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the desert."

Enough about baseball (you can tell I'm excited for tonight's game ehh!!). God taught me that becoming holy means sacrifice. It means manna instead of fish, leeks... (leek soup is in season). I my life what have I sacrificed, as a follower of Jesus I am to be about sacrifice. What do I complain about? Do I have any right to complian? Why didn't God drop a buffet down from heaven? I'm thinking because God knew their hearts, he knew if he gave them everything without teaching them to appreciate it, they would forget their need of him, they would become independent, and not dependent on him.

Numbers 13

This story has been used (and should be used) to support many vision casting sermons. It emphasizes two perspectives. 40 of them scope out the promise land.

Perspective One - 38 take this view vs 32""We can't attack those people'they are stronger than we are. The land we explored devours thos living in it. All the people we saw are of great size. We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them".

Perspective Two- 2 took another view 14:7 "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing of milk and honey, and will five it to us. Do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us."

As God changes me, and as I know the place God is taking me (towards holiness), and I see the obstacles inbetween, do I wish I had never begun the journey? Or do I take joy in the challenge with faith in God? Depending on the day, but most often I say "Bring on the challenge" because without the deserts of life, the hardships/sacrifice, the tough spots we remain the same, in the same mediocre spot. We settle for okay, or we stay in oppression, we reject God's purposes, His plans, we miss out on "life of abundance" on greatness. The good to great principle (the idea that good is the enemy of great). I choose perspective number 2 please.

When I refuse to sacrifice, I'm sure God says the same thing to me as in Numbers 14:10 "how long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all teh miraculous signs I have performed among them" God was going to destory all Israelite but Moses intercedes and asks God to show His strength to the nations via redemption of these subborn Israelites. Us Christian leaders need to pray this prayer Numbers 14:13... To ask God to show His power via redemption.

And that brings me to my final story. Today I went for a run and prayed at the same time. It was awesome for two reasons. 1. I encountered God, we hung out and 2. I got to look at everyone's trash. I'm a scavenger, I think God made me this way. I like to look at people's junk that they put on the road and imagine how it could be redeemed. God looked at his people then with the eyes of redemption, desiring his people to look with those same eyes for the nations around them (albeit some were beyound redemption, others were weren't however they were to represent God to the nations Exodus 19:5). God wants us to look with these eyes today.

Go Jays Go. (I still believe the 24w-28l season can be redeemed)

Day Eight : Numbers 6-11

2007-05-30T14:52:00.000-04:00

A couple nights ago I couldn't fall asleep, my mind kept trying to figure out if I kept up this pace of approximately 14 chapters per day, what would be the outcome after 40 days. So I got up, grabbed my Bible and I discovered I'd make it to mid-psalms. After realizing this, I felt a bit discouraged and went back to bed.

Today, like yesterday I spent a good portion of time preparing for my accredidation interview. I ended up reading scripture from Genesis, Exodus, Romans, Ephesians, Philippians, Revelation, John and Luke and Corinthians. I was all over the map, finding answers to big words like "santification", "transfiguration", "incarnation" etc. Once after I preached a sermon someone said to me "I really appreciate your style, you don't use big words that confuse use, you speak in our language" and I responded "I don't use big words because I don't know any", and I was serious. Anyways that's besides the point. After lunch I picked up where I left off on Numbers and I spoke with God and it was good, really good. But before I journal some of those thoughts let me return to the principle of my opening story.

I'm not persuing God when I'm counting the pages I've read, when I'm checking the clock, when I'm registering for Google Analytics and checking to see if anyone has actually read what I've written. God brought this to my attention quite clearly. See I'm goal oriented, and it feels good to see a goal being accomplished, it also feels good to be valued, I build confidence in myself by what I accomplish. In my past I've implemented many different visions for ministries and God has by his grace blessed them, but when I think about those things that I've done, (notice how I said I've done), my thinking is all messed up. I've commited to persuing God, not myself. But oh how Satan likes to try and convince us of our brilliance, which eventually makes us think we don't need to persue God, were doing fine on our own. Just the opposite of the way of Jesus, that way of humility and self surrender and dependancy. Satan didn't trick me this time, bring it on loser. (just thought I'd get that out) .

Numbers 6 - Has God called me to live out a modern day Nazirite vow?

A Nazirite was the name given to someone who dedicated themselves to the Lord, making a vow for a period of time to be holy. They didn't drink any alcohol or vinegar. They didn't cut their hair, they didn't go near dead bodies, everything was hightend, and at the end of the period they would present an abundance of costly offerings, including all their hair. I kinda feel like I've taken a modern day Nazirite vow. I haven't cut my hair in 3 months (not intentionally, but maybe I shouldn't for a bit longer, ahh Julie might not like this idea), I don't drink alcohol (but that's another conversation), I've stayed clear of dead people, and who know's what God will call me to offer him as I near the end of this 40 day persuance.

Numbers 8 - The setting apart of the Levites

I just have one thing to say about verse 7 "the have them shave their whole bodies". Ahh what kind of razors did they use back then? Too bad nair wasn't invented, or even mach three or at least even sensor excel.. yikes.

The best part of my time with God today came in prayer. I was sitting comfortably on the couch praying and my words starting to get meaningless, I was starting to fall asleep, instead of stopping my prayer, I got down on my knees in a very uncomfortable position, but I wasn't sleepy anymore, and my prayers became more focused and I heard God's voice. Yesterday while waiting on my back porch I was looking at the peeling paint and thought to myself I should paint this for my landlord as a surprise to bless him. Since I live above State Farm Insurance I couldn't just paint his porch without telling him, it's a daily business. My landlord just happened to walk out and we ended up chatting and he brought up how this deck was bothering him. I jumped in and said I'd paint it for him, he offered me money but I said don't worry about it, he said no way your doing it for free. My landlord's are both living at a hotel for 3 months because their house has severe water damage, I've had many conversations with the husband about God and religion. I really wanted to bless them, to show them Jesus in some way before Julie and I left in July. The husband this morning said I'll pay you $125 (and I could use the money) so I said yes, but during my prayer today God challenged me, he revealed a way that I could bless them. With the money they give me I could get them a resturant gift card or something for their house, or even I could give all the money back and in a note tell them God wanted you to know he loves you, he just used me to show you.

I'm excited, I love painting...

Day Seven : Facebook, Romans, Saved vs Open

2007-05-29T11:46:00.000-04:00

If Jesus had facebook I'd be on his friend list, and he'd be on mine. He'd have thought to request me first, I'd accept and I'd have the first chance to write about our friend details. I'd say we met when I was a boy in the hallway at the front door of my house. I'd say he followed me places, and I followed him places. I'd say we lived together, worked together and traveled together. I'd say I'm in his family, I'd say "he's my Lord". If Jesus had facebook...

Walking back from my reading park these were my thoughts. They didn't end here though, I began to think about the people on my facebook list that aren't exactly my friends. I mean they're my friends but I don't exactly interact with them like true friends would either that or I haven't interacted with them as a true friend in a long time, or maybe they're just an acquaintance and in the friend detail blurb it says "you know blank through blank". Then I transferred all this back to "what if Jesus had facebook" how many people would have rejected his friendship request, how many people would have him on their freinds list as an acquaintance "you know Jesus through your mom, that christian guy/gal, that song "Jesus take the wheel", how many people would have him as a friend but never write on his wall, how often would Jesus look at our pictures wishing he was invited.

Okay so I'm feeling a bit chessy, a bit hard core youth pastor guy who speaks during the breaks at concerts... But to be honest this all stemmed from my time in the park. See last night Julie asked me about how my preparation for my "Accrediation Interview" was going. The answer was well okay I guess, I had been putting the preparation off because I don't like doing things because I'm forced. I kept convincing myself that all my time in God's word lately would ensure I was prepared for any tirade of questions come Friday. However I knew my recent study of Leviticus would help, I also knew I should focus on specifics like answering the questioon "How does someone become a Christian?", pretty basic for a seminary grad right? Well yes and no. You see I could tell you, but I couldn't exactly give you all the specific verses from memory. So today I focused on answering this simple question, as I finished and headed home the whole concept of facebook arose from my thoughts on this matter. Let me explain.

I'm not a big fan of the 4 Spiritual Laws. They seem too linear for me and almost spell-like. As if reading them and looking at the visuals of the booklet magically makes you a Christian. But I cherish the verses, I love some of those classics and to be honest my answer to the question "How does someone become a Christian?" cannot and does not look much different then the 4 spiritual laws, the thing is I've personalized the concept so I'd feel comfortable teaching it to others. When it comes to "becoming a Christian" Romans is the classic book, however after reading Leviticus I can't see one could truly understand what being a Christian is until they've read it.

How to become a Christian...

1. First it's important to define the word Christian. To me a Christian is "someone who is being made holy, who will be holy, and who is experiencing a relationship with the Trinity, with God"
2. With this idea of Christian at hand one would have to come to a simple understanding of the status of their relationship with God, and their current holiness levels. Here's where the verses kick in. Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned any fallen short of the glory of God" & Romans 3:10 "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away...
3. One would have to come to an understanding that sin inhibits them from being made holy, which inhibits them from experiencing a relationship with God. Here's where Leviticus would really enhance ones understanding as God attempts to implement his system to deal with sin, to make the Israelites holy, so that he could interact with them and they wouldn't be burned up. Sin has consequence, in Leviticus it meant death and suffering. Again the classic Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death"
4. Then one would have to realize they couldn't fix the sin problem. Not by being a good person, not by following other gods or prophets, not by ascribing to another system. John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. & Acts 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Ephesians 2:8-10 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
5. Accept and Believe - here's the faith part. One would have to accept the humilating death of Jesus for oneself. Romans 3:22 "The righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe" & Romans 3:24 "all are... justified freely by his grace thorug the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God present him as a sacrfice of atonement, through faith in his blood" (these words "atonement, sacrifice, blood" sound familar, it's neat that God used the same system just tweaked to make us holy)
6. Live in the Spirit. A Christian is one who is to live according to the Spirit Romans 8:5. Once one is no longer a slave to sin, one becomes free to live accorinding to the Spirit, thus one is free to be transformed, to be made holy and to live in a relationship with God. 2 Corinthians 3:18 "And we... are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit".
7. Imitate Jesus. You can't be a "Christian" (one who is being made holy, and in a realationship with God) without looking more and more like Jesus. You have to change, daily.. Just like Jesus did practically everything backwards to this "worlds" mindset, so should a "Christian" start to look crazy. I Corinthians 1:18 "For the message of teh cross is follishness to those who are perishing but to us who are being saved it is the power of God". Romans 12:1 "offer your bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God". What would Jesus do? Pretty much the opposite of what a sane human being would do. He would wash the toilets of his employee's, he would hug the homeless, he wouldn't tell you how many people came to his church, he wouldn't even count...

The more I think about this stuff I more I realize the word "save" should be taken out of our vocabulary when it comes to people becoming Christians. It should be replaced with "relational" or "foolish". Sure people are "saved" in many respects, but I think it's more the opposite (like on a computer when you either save a document or open it to be worked on. Becoming a Christian is like being opened to give away all that you've ever known. Jesus gave everything away. His respect, his power, his throne, his time, his life, his lifestyle. So the next time someone becomes a Christian I might say "how exciting that person just got "opened".

Day Six : Numbers 1-6

2007-05-28T15:16:00.000-04:00

Men in the Bible aren't that romantic, especially the men of the New Testament. Sometimes I wish one of Peter's love letter's to his wife would have made it's way through history so we'd have an example of a man persuing God, serving God and at the same time seeing that balance of family and ministry. Today I felt like being romantic, I felt like reminding Julie of my love for her. Now in the past romance for me has often meant being very creative and bold, but today as I tried to think up some creative and bold I kept hitting a creative wall. So I typed into the google toolbar "romantic ideas" which led me to some site about a book a guy wrote called "300 date ideas" as seen on Oprah! This didn't help, and made me quite annoyed so I checked out our book shelf and came across "52 dates for you and your mate" which ended up frustrating me even more since every date was a disaster waiting to happen, I almost convinced myself to go buy kites and take Julie to the park as soon as she arrived home. Then I realized that'd probably be more fun for me, she's going to be hungry not kite happy. Anyways I decided just to keep it simple (although I still like my one idea, to attach reason's why I love her to hundreds of paper butterfly's and hang them from the ceiling, ahh that will have to wait untill another day). I strapped on my blades, went to the SuperStore, tucked my sock covered toes into my flop flops (since taking off my socks would be a chore, and wearing no socks with blades is uncomfortable), purchased some pink gerbers and a card, and battled the wind all the way home.

I started to think about husband/wife relationships in the Bible while reading Numbers (my new book for the next couple days even though it's draining at times). I got to Num 5:11-31. "the test an an unfaithful wife" apparently they didn't have spy camera companies and business's devoted to catching your spouse in the act of marital unfaithfulness, they had their own special system. If the husband begins to have feelings of jealousy even if his wife wasn't impure, she was to be taken to the priest. The priest would then have her stand before the Lord, as she stands before the Lord the priest puts together a mixture of dust/holy water/the washed off words of the curse and says to her "if you haven't slept with another man then may this water not bring a curse upon you" but if she had slept with another man she would experience bitter suffering, her abdomen will swell and she would become barren. The husband would be innocent of any wrongdoing, but she would bear the consequence of her sin.

After I read this I prayed that God would reveal to me something about Himself from this passage. God was a major part of this procedure in 5:16,21,25. Prior to this instruction God was ensuring the purity of the Israelites, and I think that's the point of this system of dealing with the suspected unfaithful wife. What about the man's responsibility, didn't God have a system for them? What if she was raped? As she was about to drink the curse why didn't she just confess? I suppose she'd probably have been stoned. What would the husband who suspected something do to his wife before she came to the priest? Imagine what the people watching would have thought..

I'm not sure I can finish today's entry with a nice tidy summary sentence. I have more research and reading to do, I just don't have all the answers. But I so far I've known God's character to be obsessed with purity and holiness, not because he loved to punish sin, but because he wanted to save them from sin's consequences but that was second to his desire to be intimate with them and this was impossible if they kept on sinning. Maybe this very public display was God's way of showing the Israelite community how serious His was about making them Holy. Guaranteed everyone would know in a weeks time if the wife was faithful or not. Possibly seeing the consequences of sin so publically might cause both men and women to think twice before breaking their marriage vows. (humm.. the marriage vow, a covenant) maybe that has something to do with God's severity on this matter of marital unfaithfulnes, marriage was mini representation of the of the bigger conditional covenant God had going with Israel at the time.

Untill tommorow..

Day Five : Hebrews 7-13

2007-05-27T22:20:00.000-04:00

So I promised I'd share the ramifications of seeking God. Up untill friday things were pretty good, God was revealing Himself to me, reading His word and prayer was relatively easy and productive, and the daily stuff wasn't too stressful. Fortunately the weekend arrived and things became a tad tuffer, at times really tuff.

Was it because of DISCIPLINE?

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. (Hebrews 12:7 & 11)

When I (one who is being made holy) persue's the one (who is holy, and who is making me holy), stuff about me that's not too holy seems to confronted, and it wasn't comfortable.

On friday Julie and I attended a friends wedding, it was seriously beautiful. The couple who was married are very God gifted, and so are their friends. Their musicians were especially talented, their artists painted gorgeous stuff, they created incredible video's, and their friends and family spoke of them abuntanly well. They deserved this praise, they are a wonderful God fearing couple. But as Julie and I drove home that night suddenly we were both overcome with a sense of failure, stemming from the success of our friends. For Julie it was a questioning of her beauty, how she was valued by others, how creative and gifted she was, how good a friend she was. (as I read Heb 3:13 "encourage one another daily.. so that none of you may be hardended by sin's deceitfulness" I came to a new grasp of sin's decitfulness in the absence of encouragement.) For me it was that friend I ran into, the one who's radically seeking and serving God, the one I admire, yet I left that night and that friendly reuion with a sense of failure, jealousy and competition. As we attended church this morning the feelings grow stronger, as I looked at those gifted and serving God my mind threw insults at them, I mocked them in my heart. Later at the Global Day of Prayer at the RICOH, the people who were worshipping God all around me annoyed me, prayer became difficult.

Sin seemed to be coming to the surface, dissention seemed to be pooping it's ugly head with every moment. Julie and I sat silently through dinner digusted with each other's company, our conversation this weekend had been riddled with hot topics (our current OSAP debt, money in general, what to eat, what to wear, what to do, my driving, our lack of a potential summer holiday, and yet again the money convo...) Oh and I forgot to mention both evening's dinners happened to fall either in the sink or on the floor.

But God intervened... I couldn't sleep last night so I prayed, and it was one of those prayer times you hope never ends. Tonight after dinner we talked through these feelings, we blamed the brokeness on the one we don't persue, while claiming the blood of Jesus as our redemption. I read the rest of Hebrews tonight, I will not grow weary and lose heart (12:3), I will persue the discipline of God that I may share in His holiness (12:11), for without holiness no one will see the Lord (12:14). If I allow the sin to simply stagnate in my life, unverbalized, it prevents my transformation to holiness, then no one will see the Lord... How can I allow this?

13:5 "Never will I leave you;never will I forsake you"

10:10 "And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Chrsit once for all"

To bed I go, but with a renewed mind I will come to rest. As I close my eyes I can leave guilt with it's creator, I can claim sin's final destination, I can claim the work of the Spirit within me which will illuminate Jesus to the world. I am being made holy, and it's only been 5 days (I suppose it's really been like 26 years but who's counting?).

Day Four : Hebrews 1-7

2007-05-26T18:11:00.000-04:00

God's been teaching me all kinds of stuff lately, amazing how when you persue Him He persues you right back, or maybe He's been persuing me along I'm just listening a bit me more lately. Anyways yesterday I got all dressed up with my yellow tie, dress shirt and shiney shoes. I went out to the go bus stop and waited for the bus. As so often happens God spoke to me through the brokeness of others. As I was standing on the corner a lady with her little girl came to wait for the bus too, you could tell she was tired, you could tell life for her wasn't easy, you could tell she'd learned to ignore what others thought as many in our culture would say "she let herself go". As I was watching her care and protect her little girl a BMW with an older established couple pulled up, they gawked at this lady beside me, as the sun beat down on them via their sunroof they talked vibrantly to each other in digust, commenting on the mother and her daughter's dirty face. And this is when Leviticus struck me, the year of Jubilee. God wanted justice for the poor, he imagined a world that looked quite different from our world. People weren't to own stuff to the point that the rich would get richer and the poor would get poorer. The rich were supposed to look out for the poor, that couple was supposed to stop, pullover and give that lady and her girl a ride, they were supposed to provide a clean towel to wip the little girls face, I was supposed to speak words of love, and live love to this lady. All I did was let her get on the bus first, all I did was smile at that little girl, and my heart asked what more could I do, now I wish I paid for that mothers fare.. ahh I wish I could change the world... fact is I can... fact is there will be a next time... and if I'd actually live more sacrifically it's be cool, but I can always mentally take myself out of the game, convincing myself that the little things I could do would never really allow someone to meet Jesus. But I gotta believe those little things are the difference, like washing peoples feet, like telling a thirsty prostitute about living water, like praying in a garden until I sweat blood.

Today I read Hebrews 1-7. Julie and I went to Second Cup, and enjoyed a Butter Peacan brew. I really like flavored coffee, but I'm not really a coffee guy. Hebrews is soo much cooler after you read Leviticus, there are words that just blow my mind. As I sipped my coffee I thought about how Jesus tasted death for me, and how I have tasted His glory.. very tasty on my part, not like coffee which I can remember my first time tasted like month old trash and maneur. I was like 5 and it was just after church in Hepworth Baptist's basement during potluck...

Things that stuck me from the Bible today..

- Heb 1:14, Angels are sent to serve us who are inheriting salvation. When I was a kid my great grandfather had an angel come to him just before he died. I've always imagined what it would have been like, and since I was soo young I've prayed for angel to be revealed to me. Hasn't happend yet, well at least not that I'm aware of. I'll keep hoping.

- Being a follower of Jesus is really hard, yet he gives us rest.
- Jesus came so he touch the lame, the lame that couldn't come into the santuary in Leviticus, the lame that were to be shunned by the people of Israel.

I need to go make dinner, but I want to leave today's submission with such a beautiful verse.

Heb 2:11

"Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers"

Day Three : Leviticus 14-27

2007-05-25T12:07:00.000-04:00

No tatoo's, no clean shaving, no mildew, no eating fat or drinking blood, no blue, rare, or medium rare steaks, no shirts made of cotton and wool, no incest, no homosexual relations, no ripping off people, no perverting justice, no owning of land or fellow Israelites.

Today I read from Lev 14-the end. Apparently the show Fear Factor wouldn't have been a hit with God in the time of Moses. Now some of these requests may seem strange, some I don't completely understand, some have changed or have been modified because of the new enternal priest and new covenant according to Hebrews 7:12 "For when there is a change of the priesthood, there must also be a change of the law", and some simply stand forever. I'm thinking tommorow I will read from Hebrew's so I can try and bring more clarity to all of this.

But from today's reading God spoke to me and the main message of this whole book of Leviticus became clear. This conditional covenant if all went well was supposed to return the Israelites back to what God had originally intended His relationship be like when He created mankind in Eden. In the cool of the day He walked in the Garden with Adam and Eve, now in Lev 26:12 He says "I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people". But since the people weren't Holy God couldn't just walk around or else everyone would die because His holy presence would be too much. It's incredible to think God so desperately wanted to be with us and yet if He came near us we would die.
The priests seem to have the harshest requirements, they were to marry a virgin, they couldn't touch or go to the visitation of their decesed loved ones, if they were blind or lame they couldn't enter the sanctuary, they couldn't skin their knee's and enter into the presence of the Lord or else they would die. God made these harsh rules because He cared about them, the priest got the closest to God and so they were required to be even more holy, the closer they got the higher chance they would die.

The best news I learned was repeated several times "I am the LORD, who makes them holy". God was making them holy, all it took from them was obedience.

And so as I was praying I became overwhelmed at God's incredible desire to be my friend, my Lord, my Savior. To think this Bible is a huge story about God persuing a relationship with us, a relationship with His creation, His creation which has been broken and this brokeness has created such a gap between God and us that His holiness would kill instantly, but as I turn the pages a story is revealed of a very determined Father who does what it takes to re-write the brokeness, to restore our holiness, so we can one day embrace Him in a life filled hug.

My prayer, in it's simplicity became "make me holy as you are holy", "make me holy", "may I be like you".

Day Two : Leviticus 1-14

2007-05-24T11:35:00.000-04:00

The priest's must have been good bbq'ers. I wonder if Aaron had a special bbq sause? You'd think plain old meat all the time might need some extra spice. Well today I read as you might have guessed Leviticus 1-14. The key theme of these chapters so far has been the proper implementation of God's system of making the Israelites Holy. In Lev 11:45 (right at the bottom of some really boring stuff, I found a jewel) it said "Be Holy because I am Holy". That's the point of all these specifications, God is saying "I want you to be like me". And this would make sense since back in Exodous 19:5 God had made a conditional covenant with them basically saying "if you do what I tell you to do then I'm going to make you special and you will represent me to the rest of the world". That's what the burnt, grain, fellowship, sin and guilt offering's are all about, they were about making Israel holy.

Now the Israelites were flawed (as were every other nation at that time, and as are every person/nation today), they were just fortunate enough to have been chosen by God through a promise made to an individual (Abraham) passed on to a series of individuals (Issac, Jacob or Israel the father of the Israelites). Some might say they were blessed, which they were but the more I think about it, many might say they weren't blessed at all. Being chosen by God to be His Holy representatives meant they had to change, and let's be honest change is never easy, this is something I can say with confidence as history and my daily life experiences ring true, humans don't like change, even change for the better, sometimes people would rather stay in the junk of life rather than having to go through the stages of change to move into a better place. (ie. the Israelites wanted to go back to those ruthless slave driving Egyptians then be free with the hope of a new free life in a promise land, woman often stay with their abusive partners because changing what they know would be too hard). So Leviticus shows us all the ways that God was specifically going to change the Israelites, and He was serious as we learn in Lev 10 as Nadab and Abihu (Aaron's sons) got sloppy with the instruments used for burning incense and God consumes them with fire, killing them instantly. God wasn't messing around, He was serious about making them Holy.

Some interesting facts I learned..

- They sacrificed two lambs every day, plus whatever else was offered. (imagine the smell and the amount of animals they would be killing every day)
- The fire could never go out (imagine how much wood they would need)

- 3 kinds of sin.
1. Sins you were aware of and guilty of.
2. Sins your not aware of and yet guilty of.
3. Sins you not aware of and must become aware of in order to be guilty.

- Before an animal was sacrificed they "layed their hands on it's head". This was done to show that the animal had become their substitute, as well they were transfering their sins to the animal which was now the sin-bearer. God established at the begining the need for a substition and a bearer of sin's in order for one to become forgiven and holy.

While finishing my time in prayer, I thought about how simple and tangible it was for those Israelites to fix their sins. As part of their day all they had to do was grab one of their good female lambs, slaughter it and go through the process and by dinner they could be feeling all good about themselves. Then God alerted me of problem in my thinking. It was never the person who was fixing the sin, God was providing the way out. He was making them holy, they couldn't make themselves holy, just because they brought the lamb didn't mean they were fixing the sin. God had provided the system of forgiveness, God had provided the means (the lamb, the ability to walk to the altar, the altar...) of forgiveness. Forgiveness today comes through the eternal sacrifice of Jesus, and our conversation with Jesus, our acceptance of that humilating deed done for us. We place our hands on the head of Jesus, he takes our spot, His blood is sprinkled over us and we become Holy. Again God has fixed the sin, God has provided the means. And it doesn't feel that great because it means I didn't fix the problem, all I do is accept defeat. And I can imagine what it felt like to be an Israelite back then, it would be a constant cycle of sin, kill something, walk home with the blood on your hands and a burden of guilt.
Sin isn't pretty to God, neither was His remedy.

Day One : Exodus 26-40

2007-05-23T12:40:00.000-04:00

So I lied, I hadn't actually read all of Exodus, I had left off on Exodus 26. So I began there and read to the end of Exodus (yah I'm a slow reader, but there's so much to take in).

After walking over to the nearby park with my Bible, my moleskine, 2 pens and my foldable lounge camp chair, I was ready to go. I had a difficult time getting comfortable and I kept getting distracted looking and picking at the flaws in my skin, thinking about the angle of my face to the sun to ensure the best tanning, and flicking off little bugs which I feared might infest my hat and then later my hair. Okay so after fighting through that I actually learned something.

The major theme of these verses is God's establishing the necessary details of the tabernacle/tent of meeting so that His presence with the Isrealites wouldn't kill them all. Reading this reveals to me how incredible Jesus' work on the cross really was, the gift we have because of Jesus is to come freely to God without first going through all these complicated details, Jesus changed everything.

I found it really interesting that during the "consecration of the priests" (exodus 29:10-14) the priests were supposed to slaughter a bull in the Lord's presence as part of a sin offering. The forshadowing to the necessary slaughtering of Christ for our sins is already present here, the bull had to bare the consquences and the suffering for the priest's sins. They were to do this every day for seven days straight vs. 36.

I also learned that God's intended purpose all along was to be in a relationship with the Isrealites. He says in 29:45 after consecrating the Tent/altar/Aaron and the sons He would then dwell among the Isrealites. God want's to hang out with us, Satan has done everything he can to destroy this from happening, God can't hang out with people who aren't Holy, because He is Holy, He tells Moses you can't see my face and live, the best you can do is see my back (the place where I just was). After Moses has been in God's presence the glory is so overwhelming to the others that he has to put a veil over his face, even God's reflected glory is too Holy for Israelties. But God's intention, His purpose for creating us was to hang with us, and in order to do this we must become Holy. Talking with God, reading about God isn't supposed to be hard, but Satan makes it difficult because it absolutely disgusts him.

I also loved how God allowed himself to be more than an idea to the Isrealites, He made himself a very present, physical, experience oriented being. He made Himself known to all their senses. The sense of smell, the Tent of Meeting was a smelly place as God made up a special aroma for them to splash all over the place. Most perfumes give me a headache, I'm sure this stuff smelled pretty good. The sense of visual was huge, the light of the lamps, the colours involved in the priests garments was extravagant, the gold, the purples.. The sense of touch, the water in the bronze basin, just everything..

I also found it amazing that God gave Bezalel the Spirit of God for the purpose of creating artistic designs, not only this but he also gave him the ability to teach. So God doesn't give the Spirit without a purpose. The prophecy of Joel has come true in that God's Spirit has been poured out on many, no wonder my heart says there is more, it's because the Spirit within me has been given to me for a purpose, I better make sure I know it and seek to accomplish it.

Afterwards I prayed with intention and it was good, however when I finished I felt like it had been a very long time, and I had only prayed for 15 minutes, so I ended up reading aloud some of the Psalms.

I turned to Psalm 24-27. God gave me some really cool and timely verses.

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me you paths, guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long"

"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of teh Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple"

"My heart says of you, "seek his face!" "Your face, Lord, I will seek"

40 Days Seeking God

2007-05-23T09:31:00.000-04:00

I realize I haven't actually written on this blog since February, a lot has changed since then. I got the job as a student pastor and I begin July 3rd, I finished my MDIV in pastoral studies at Tyndale and I've had a month off. Now it's not like I've done nothing for the past month, I've spoke at a youth retreat, polished off a personal doctrinal questionairre for Alliance Church accreditiation, read Genesis, Exodus, Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis and the Irresitable Revolution by Shane Claiborne, turned 26, celebrated mothers day with both mothers, attended 6 blue jay games costing a total of less than $50, was on the jumbo tron 3 times and recieved 1 ball, spent far too much time on yahoo fantasy sports (however I am placed 4th of 10 and by the end of the week should be in 2nd), learned how to throw a curve ball, fork ball, 4 seam and 2 seam fastball on youtube.com then I went to the nearby park and pitched the heat.
On Sunday I was at Temple Baptist Church in Sarnia and the youth pastor Dave Lane put into words what I had been feeling throughout the last month. He said " Reading God's Word and Praying are the two hardest things we as followers of Jesus are called to do, they're hard because Satan know's if we do them we are unstoppable". During this period of "free time", the time I've had off since mid-April to now has been the most difficult time for me Spiritually. Yes I"ve read Genesis and Exodus, but to be honest I really only spent about 4 good hours reading the Bible for about 3 days last week, and my prayer life has been dismal, I've really only spoke to God in one of those candid, honest, and truly connective prayer experiences two or three times since I finished school. It's been extremely hard, I haven't been able to focus, I've become discouraged, I've experienced fear, I've been tempted away from my realtionship with God, I've felt Satan's attacks on my mentality as he has tried to destroy the excitment, the passion, to distort the vision God had begun to give me for the youth of Owen Sound.

Community is soo important to our walk as followers of Jesus, when Julie gets home I understand the comfort of having another follower of Jesus keep me accountable, I miss praying with my former leadership team at Awakening (Carruthers Creek), I miss discussing end times and the way of Jesus with my fellow Tyndale classmates, but Jesus spent 40 days in the desert with only his memory of the scripture, the Spirit, angels, the Father, and that pest Satan. The Christian life is all about community, the foremost community is to be primarilly between me and the Trinity. The Christ follower cannot rely too heavily upon the community of fellow believers, because eventually God will isolate us, so it's just me and Him. Eventually the wilderness experience will catch up to all of us who claim to be followers of Jesus, the Spirit will lead us into the dessert just like the Spirit led Jesus. Sometimes we refuse to go and be alone with God, sometimes we fake it (we think we've tricked God by leaving our cell phones on, you know those prayer sessions that are just about you feeling like you've put in the time but the whole time you're thinking about other stuff), sometimes it takes us a long time accept the uncomfortable silence, the loneliness of being cut off from the noise of our typical everyday lives. Eventually the Spirit will catch up to us, I'm not sure how it happened for you, but for me it meant a prolonged period of inbetween.

Now Jesus used this 40 day period to be empowered, which he then went to transfrom the world as he began his public ministry and finished off the curse of death (both present and future). I have exactly 41 days left before I begin my new role as student pastor at the Alliance Church. I've decided I want to use this time to seek God, to become comfortable again in His presence (which I know is a scarry idea since God will definetly make me more uncomfortable with the brokeness of the world around me, most likely forcing me to leave or at least get up from this comfy couch, the mindless t.v., and the enjoyable internet sites i.e. yahoo sports, youtube, hotmail, craiglist). These things are fine, but I'm thinking there's got to be more, and my heart keeps saying there is more, you just have to want it, and do something about it.
So here's what I'm going to do.

For the next 40 days I intend to spend at least 1 hour per day reading the Bible, at least 30 minutes in prayer, and at least 30 minutes journaling my experience, the conversations with God, His challenges to me, and my struggles.

And so it begins...

Psalm 44

2007-02-16T14:41:00.000-05:00

This weekend is pretty big for myself and Julie. We are heading to Owen Sound for a "candidating weekend" regarding a youth pastor position at the Owen Sound Alliance Church. I'm really looking forward to it, and would appreciate any and everyone's prayers. I've been working on a devotional for the youth on Sunday morning and through the leading of the Holy Spirit I've landed on Psalm 44. Honestly it's a beautiful Psalm, written for the director of music of the Sons of Korah. It's incredible how much you can learn from one Psalm, and how much story surrounds one Psalm. Just for fun I've posted my devotional notes.

Devotional Notes:

Background Info

The opening of Psalm 44 says “For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. A maskil (this meant a psalm that teaches you something).

Korah was the great-grandson of Levi who was one of the sons of Jacob. The Levites had been set apart to minister in the tabernacle (the place God dwelt) but Korah didn’t think it was fair, he wanted the role of the priest. Korah was killed because of his disobedience (the earth split open and swallowed him, Numbers 16-1-35.) His sons didn’t follow his ways and lived. Korah’s decedent’s job was to direct music in the tabernacle, and then when the Temple was built by Solomon they served in the Temple. They led the worship services, instrumental and vocal praise. They had a book of songs and liturgy that they lead from. This psalm 44 has been taken from their book. In the book many Psalms would have been written by David, but most scholars say this Psalm doesn’t have the David ring to it, so it was probably written by an Patriotic Israelite experiencing war.

It is fairly certain that this Psalm was written during Kingdom of Judah. This Kingdom began in 930 BC and ended in 586 BC. It was formed after King Saul died, and was ruled by King David. Vs 17 says, they had not forgot God’s covenant. Judah as a nation did not break God’s covenant until late in its history. We know according to Chronicles that these decedents of Korah, would have had to organize and lead a total of 288 singers, and 4000 musicians in the Temple. Each week consisted of a different group of 12 singers and 160+ musicians.

The Psalm has four parts

1. The first reminds God of His past favours 2-9.

The Mosaic Law required the Israelites to teach their children their history, about how God had spoken and delivered them. There’s a cool verse in Deuteronomy 11:19 which says “teach them to your children, talking about them whey you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up”. The Psalm declares that it was God who gave them their promise land, not their power.

2. The second describes the disgrace and defeat they are experiencing on account of Him 10-17

Many of the Israelite armies had to retreat, they were taken captive in other lands, Israel had been defeated quite easily, seemed like they had had no help. These enemies could have been the Philistines, Moabites, Arameans, Edomites, Ammonites, the Amalekites, Canaanites. We aren’t certain, whomever they were they were pagan, not God fearing.

3. The third shows how the people are not aware of the reasoning behind this situation, they haven’t sinned to deserve this 18-23,

The people are confused at the situation.

4. The forth deals with the struggle to be God’s people in His silence, yet they continue to pray 24-26.

Wierd stuff in the Psalm

Was God really sleeping?
Derision (the Hebrew word is keh-les, meaning laughing stock)
Pittance (the Hebrew word is poo-reem, meaning a broken piece, or nothing)
Byword (the Hebrew word is maw-shawl, meaning a simile) The name Jew had come to mean misery.

What does this Psalm mean for us?

Do you wine when things aren’t going your way?
Do you think that just because your living for God all’s supposed to be well?
Do you ever wonder why things seem to be harder for you now then they were for me or your parents?
What’s going be your response? Who will you seek for help?
Is your love for God conditional upon what He does for you, upon how good your life is?
Do you ever feel like this Psalmist, crushed by God, disgraced, made fun of because of your relationship with God?
Does it ever seem unfair, you go to church, pray, read the Bible, your nice to people, you don’t do stupid stuff, and yet you face burdens, trials, troubles.
Things aren’t easy! Does it ever feel like God’s just sleeping?
What if things don’t get better? What if life just keeps getting harder? Then what?
Have you set an alarm for God to wake up, and if He doesn’t do something, will you still praise Him?
It’s okay to tell God about how your really feeling.
It’s okay, in fact He wants you to be honest.

The challenge:

Write out a prayer or a song to God, telling Him honestly how you feel about what is happening in your life. Learn to respond to tuff situations like the Psalmist, and as the thousands of Israelites did when they sung this Psalm to God.

More than Enough

2007-01-26T11:15:00.000-05:00

I've been writing this song for a while, just thought I'd write it out since I finished the bridge today.

Verse 1: Sometimes I feel like quitting,
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
Sometimes I feel like stoppin,
And that's when I hear you say, Are you kidding?

Chorus 1. (God speaking) : Am I not enough,
Am I not enough,
Am I not enough,
For you?

Verse 2: Sometimes I feel like sleepin,
Sometime I feel like life's too tough,
Sometime I feel like letting go,
And that's when I hear you say, There's more you know!

Repeat Chorus 1.

Bridge: Father I come to you this day,
I'm not new to this but I know that you will guide the way,
Bring me home safe within your arms.

Sometimes life, it's troubles great,
But you say don't accpet defeat,
Take heart, my Son I have overcome the world.

Chorus 2. (Me speaking) : Your more than enough,
Your more than enough,
Your life and your love it covers me.
It covers completly.

Jesus your more, your all I adore
Holy Spirit come unite me as one,
Safe in your arms, Father I run.

Rob Bell - Is he a False Prophet?

2007-01-19T14:37:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately this post has fallen under the Emergent vs Non. Emergent topic although Rob Bell has never stated himself to be Emergent.

Instead of replying to a conversation I'm having with "Anonymous" over my post called "Silent Revolution". I thought I'd bring the conversation to the top of the page for communal discussion.

Dear Anonymous,

You have raised many excellent questions, and as I have time I will attempt to answer as many of these questions as possible. The 4th question is in my opinion the easiest to address.

Your 4th question was

4) What does Rob Bell really believe about Scripture, Salvation, philosophy of ministry?

In Response -

I realize you have some preconcieved ideas about Rob Bell, I'm assuming you think he has a secret agenda or that he's a false prophet (this taken from your use of the word really).

Matthew 7:15 - 23 "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? So, every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit. A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits.

Please click on this link to Rob Bell's churches weekly church bulletin, and then honestly answer the question below.

http://www.marshill.org/weekly/weekly.pdf

Sound Tree or Bad Tree? Bad Fruit or Good Fruit?

By the way I'm all for discerning popular Christian trends. The Bad Fruit Good Fruit question has always helped me biblically discern the work of the Spirit. And I believe we should be constantly examining the fruit production of everybody, including ourselves.

A Guilt Free New Year

2007-01-12T21:50:00.000-05:00

Has the Christmas break left you feeling fat, unhealthy, and uncomfortable in your 2006 wardrobe? Have you made any new years resolutions based on guilty feelings? Why do you feel this way?

Weight loss commercials are pretty popular these days. Have you seen the one where a slim Whoppi Goldberg wearing black and confidence shames her overweight twin who slouches, eats too much and wears bulky peach colored sweaters into joining a weight loss program? What about the Jell-O commercial, with the tag line “every diet needs room to wiggle”? January’s commercial sales pitch is “guilt”. The media creates a need in us, and then using guilt they offer a remedy to that need with their product.

What’s the deal with guilt and why is it so powerful? Lately it’s been overwhelmingly present. Somehow I’ve let lies tell me how I should feel. I’ve allowed myself to be convinced that since I didn’t exercise over Christmas I am now overweight and desperately need to eat more Jell-O and less toberlone. Lately I’ve felt unfit and bloated in my relationship with God. I’ve convinced myself that since I didn’t uphold my regular intimate schedule with God, were now experiencing some problems. And the simple feeling of shame has actually created some problems. I’ve had difficulty coming to God in prayer and reading His Word. There’s a constant advertising pitch in my ear informing me that I’m seeking God out of guilt and that our relationship is not sincere.

One of the Jewish New Years, called the “Civil New Year” occurs during the seventh month of the Jewish calendar in the month of Tishrei. In the book of Hebrews the author tells us a story of about how the priests of old used to enter into the inner room of the Tabernacle once a year on the 10th day of Tishrei. Once inside the priest would offer gifts and sacrifices, unfortunately this act was not able to clear the conscience of the worshiper. The priest and the people would still experience guilt, even after a sacrifice. Apparently guilt and the celebration of New Years is a long standing tradition. Hebrews goes on to tell us that Jesus in a sacrifice once for all, became for us the first priest in history to experience a New Year’s free from guilt. “His sacrifice has made perfect forever those who are being made holy”. In Jesus (Hebrews 10:19) “since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus… let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience.”

Jesus initiated for us the possibility of a guilt free New Year, that’s something to celebrate. Let’s make a resolution. Stop listening to the voice of deception and guilt and actually enter with confidence the most Holy Place. Jesus is not about guilt trips, He’s about sincerity and authenticity. I believe Jesus initiated the first ever non-guilt New Years, and I will celebrate daily the confidence I have to enter the most Holy Place. I will no longer believe the lies that I must live in the bondage of shame. If I confess my sins, he is faithful and just to forgive them. Therefore I am free from guilt.

Why I am neither "Emergent" nor "Non-Emergent"

2006-12-18T09:35:00.000-05:00

James Macdonald wrote an article on christianitytoday.com titled "Why James Macdonald is not Emerging", and his posting has been followed up by many self proclaimed "Emerging" and "Non-Emerging" folks all arguing with each other's points. This makes me sick, it's boring, unproductive and pointless.

It's not about two-camps, and although I once was ensnared to this model, I no longer belong to the model or either camp. Jesus initiated a whole new model for living, by the grace of God I am now a part of this new model, living according to this model daily is a product of prayer, submission and obedience.

Jesus did not come to again set-up yet another battle of ideas. This whole concept of being right and wrong, this battle between the people of God wasn't embraced by Jesus. He came right smack in the middle of these "opposing" thinkers and got right to the "big picture". He presented a new way, a way grounded in Himself in the Holy Spirit. A way which tended towards submission to God the Father, humility, sacrifice and love. A way of peace and of hope. Jesus' way was very much different then His predecessor John the Baptist. John the Baptist stood in the apocalyptic tradition preparing the way for Jesus by preaching "Repent, for the Kingdom of God is near". Jesus by beginning with these same words is making direct reference to this tradition, however he puts a twist on it, it is apocalypse without Armageddon. Present in His announcement is a challenge; his words caress the listener with welcome possibility. He does not threaten or condemn; he opens his arms to invite and encourage. The gentleness of this prophet is as unexpected as His message.

I don't believe Jesus would be happy to see his followers judging each other, arrogantly defending their scriptural interpretation, so that we could better prove ourselves as "right", while proving someone else as "wrong", puffing up ones pride, self-worth, and self-righteousness. This is the problem I find between this "emerging" vs. "non-emerging" battle. If we focus on the battle, we are missing the point becoming ineffective, falling into one of the two camps of the old model. We end up exactly were the evil one wants all followers of Jesus, tied up in a battle with each other, being led by our desires not the Holy Spirit, completly missing the call to be Christ followers, making no impact on a broken world, living in the that disgusting model which Christ died to set us free from!

This is why I am neither “Emergent” nor "Non-Emergent". I will not fight for either side; I will not allow myself to get caught up in this battle. I will not be offended and retaliate when someone places me in one of the camps and then attempts to fight it out with me. I will not allow Satan to divert, distract, confuse, or preoccupy me from learning and living the way of Jesus. I will be a peacemaker, I will be like Christ laying my life down for the weak (those people who are missing the point), I will not allow my "oldself" to lead, I will pray for the leading of the Holy Spirit.

By the way, isn't the "church", the bride of Christ, a grouping of many individuals? And doesn't Paul say in II Corinthians 3:16-18 that we as individuals are to be transformed to His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit? So whether you use the word "transforming", "reforming" "emerging" "changing" is it not the same concept. The "church" is supposed to be constantly submitting to the leading of the Holy Spirit becoming more and more like Jesus. Has this not been the case throughout history? God, who is the Spirit, who is Jesus, has always been in the change business, changing individuals, changing the church to best be Jesus' "hands and feet" to a broken world, which culturally keeps changing, and thus so does the church. Wouldn't this mean Billy Graham was emergent to his generation, Martin Luther was Emergent for his world.

Jesus didn't argue principles, he lived them. Isn't it time we stopped arguing about the church and actually start being the church! Isn't it time we simply be submissive, die our own idea's, trust in Christ to build the church, and worry about the glory we personally are emitting?

Open Kitchen Church

2006-12-08T08:38:00.000-05:00

Here's an idea I have of a what a component of a church that leads a silent revolution would look like.

In 2004 Julie and I were married on June 12th, after the honeymoon we both got jobs at two resturants in Sauble Beach. We worked like "dogs", working the late shift at the one resturant, cleaning up barf and other stuff untill 2 or 3 in the morning, and then we'd sleep a couple hours and then get to the other resturant to open it up for breakfeast around 6 am. What I learned about what the "behind the scenes" world of a resturant was not pretty. Both the resturants had closed kitchen's, meaning you couldn't see your food being prepared, it just arrived at your table looking all perfect from a guy with a smile. Now it wasn't like the kitchen staff was tossing rats in the deep fryer for fun, but if you the consumer had seen some of the things they did you might not eat that steaming plate in front of you. Here's a couple examples of what I mean. Anything that was dropped on the ground had a 10 second or however long it took to pick it up rule applied to it. The kicthen staff wore bajama's pants and greasy t-shirts. The kitchen was always dirty, dirty floors, dirty counters (raw chicken), dirty hands of employee's who preferred hands over utencils, no hair nets... Speed was always the number one priority. The microwave was used in abundance, (burgers were actually noked!). Class and excellence didn't exactly permiate the place. Recently I went to an open kitchen resturant, the difference was huge. There were no secrets, the cooks were authentic, they had a few grease spots but overall they had actually wore clean cook attire to work. You didn't have to hope the cooks used utencils, fresh ingredients, clean counters, and food which was virgin to the resturant floor, you actually could witness for yourself the process. The food's presentation was artlike, detail at it's finest. I enjoyed myself at this resturant, Julie and I found it romantic, we felt respected and part of the experience.

Enough about resturants, here's were my idea of what a church truly living up to it's calling might look like. My focus here is the church leadership, the one's who prepare the food. I dream of authentic church leaders, who are honest about their failings to the congregation. I dream of church leaders who are vulnerable, actually allowing the people to see the work they do, not hiding behind agenda's and closed doors. I dream of church leaders who live out their calling in athentic realationships instead of the corporate cold business style. I dream of church leaders who put quality first, not speed and the bottom line. I dream of church leaders who actually allow the community to be part of the experience, to do church together. I dream of leaders who actually sacrifically serve their people instead of serving their own agenda's. I dream of church leaders who care about the detail in what is presented. Leaders who sprinkle everything in sincere prayer. I dream of the persuit of excellence, but the autheniticity and vulnerablity of real people not fake.

A Church that's an open kitchen, where the leadership share their God given wisdom, technique, ingredients, mishaps and joy with the lay community.

A Church without secrets, founded in authencity, experience and excellence.

Okay so I realize the analogy isn't perfect but if you can grasp a few of my idea's that's all I'm aiming for. Just a disclaimer, this dream is not a protest of a poor expereince in church leadership. Most of my insights actually come from church leaders who are doing this right. But there's always more we can do, as leaders we have a responsiblity to the "flock", we can never say we've arrived, we must keep persuing perfection.

Silent Revolution

2006-11-14T16:55:00.000-05:00

A little while ago I was watching the movie The Terminal. It was about this guy who lived in an airport terminal for like 5 months, while there he learns to speak english, builds community and by the end of the movie has led a silent revolution. I say he led a "silent revolution" because of the way this revolution occured. He didn't force the revolution by power, money or influence. He had no hidden agenda's. It was a revolution grounded in relationships. He was tenacious and geniune about initiating relationships. He was completly transparent and vulnerable for the sake of people. The revolution was beautiful. In the final scene numerous airport employee's risk their jobs to help this man gain his freedom.

I believe Jesus led a silent revolution, and i believe the church is called to lead a silent revolution, and more directly I believe a Christian is to be one who leads a silent revolution.

On Saturday I attended my friends wedding. It was back in my home town of Owen Sound. It was at this old cool looking CRC church, one of those churches which must have taken 50 strapping dutch men to piece the beautiful wood ceiling together. Many, and I mean a lot of my high school friends showed up, people I hadn't seen since grade 13 (7 years ago). We did the usual small talk, figuring out the basics (were your live, work, and what's your relational status). Then the minister started into the service, right away I realized the minister's relationship with God must be boring. He was boring, rigid, fake, God and Church were some sort of social, governmental trend, key aspects in fulfillnig the rules needed for the maratiel certificate. This was extremely frustrating for me, and discouraging. See, my friends knew I was about to become some kind of pastor guy. At the reception people were cracking jokes about the boring pastor, some of my friends asked me if I could explain what "Benediction" meant. Then I realized, we Christians gotta represent or get off the stage. Now I know why God spits lukewarm Christians out, we are disgusting. Now I know I sound self-righteous, and honestly I have my faults, lots of them, but common why would anyone ever want to be in a relationship with the God that minister had a relationship with, boring... Why do we cover or hide Jesus with words like "Benediction" Why? It's just confusing and wierd for people.

My dream is to "equip people to lead a silent revolution of their community, by learning and living the way of Jesus"

In the upcoming weeks I will be writing about my dreams of what a church that leads a silent revolution would look like. Let the second reformation continue to transform the church and people of God. So that we better reflect the glory of our lord and Savior, so that we truly become a city on hill that cannot be hidden, a fragrance that is not the stench of death, but the smell of life.

Show your Spikes - Awakening Oct. 22

2006-10-20T14:46:00.000-04:00

Below is a summary of the Oct 22 Awakening Service. Please leave any questions or comments by clicking on the comment button directly beneath this blog entry.

Scripture: Exodus 34 & 2 Corinthians 3:7-18

Is the glory within you veiled? Do you reflect God’s glory?

What we know about God- God is a God who has initiated a relationship with His creation. He has provided his name although mysterious, and his character. He is a jealous, grace filled, slow to anger, loving, faithful, able to maintain love to thousands, forgiving yet just, kind and compassionate God.
What we know about us- We were created to reflect his glory. Yes God is mysterious, and we cannot perfectly define him or wrap our mind around him. Our desire to seek that which is righteous determines the amount of glory we reflect. Romans 3:23 we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory we were created for.
How we should live according to the passage- We should not live in disobedence to God, lusting after other gods, blending in to the world, forgetting our creator, forgetting the wonderful things he has saved us from, worshiping ourselves, looking out for ourselves first, failing to acknowledge his Lordship, failing to meet with God, being to busy, doing evil. We are called to live as the opposite, to live as holy people, so that we may glorifying God, and that the world would see God.
Literally show our spikes- When someone who doesn’t know God looks at you, they should be able to say there is literally something different about you, maybe not literally display spikes of glory, but you literally obey what Jesus commanded. You love, you show compassion, you give to poor, you feed the hungry, you are an active part of the solution, you are bringing heaven to earth, and you are not bringing hell to earth by being unholy. You are called to reflect God, by being holy, separate, and obedient. We are meant to reflect God’s glory,
Remember the Journey- Remember though it is a journey, we are being transformed, God has commanded us to be holy, but it also a promise, for we cannot be perfectly holy while living on this earth, but in Heaven we will be granted perfect Holiness. Remember though, we are to be constantly transformed, constantly with God’s help removing the veils of sin, and everyday gaining in brightness so that we shine like the stars in the universe, we are to be the light of the world, so that we reflect accurately the glory of God. We have no excuse to do otherwise.
Look at your reflection and ask yourself, am I brighter today then I was yesterday. Our purpose is to reflect God to the world, by being holy, separate, and obedient. We are the church, the hope of the world. If we don not reflect God to the world who will? Are we seriously going to leave it to the rocks and the trees? Who's more equipped? I've got a voice, talent, the ability to reason, I'm filled with the Holy Spirit, I have material possessions, what are you capable of?

Miracle at Midas "Patient Endurance"

2006-10-20T09:06:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday Julie was driving home from work when our vw golf stalled in the middle of an intersection. A kind soul pushed the car onto the shoulder, I came as soon as possible. When I arrived we pushed the car uphill into the SuperStore parking lot. From this point on my focused purpose was to restore things to "normal". I became impatiently fixated on remedying the promblem, it was all I could think about. I opened the hood, wiggled the wires and prayed. I gave Julie the nod, start er up! No go. So I prayed harder, admitting to God that I needed a miracle, and that this would be a great time for one. I prayed with expectation, why wouldn't God fix this promblem? I even incorporated some theolgy, alining my hope with Abraham's faith, which was a "hope against hope", a hope in a dead womb and his aged body. I had faith that God would bring this dead car to life. But to no avail. We left the car and walked home in the rain, I think the only thing I said was "I love you", as if that would fix the problem. Later that night I returned to the car, I opened the door, sat down, took a deep breath, prayed, put the key in the ignition, turned the key and awaited in expectation that sweet sound, but it didn't come. I was frustrated, God didn't fix my problem, the remedy was uncertian. The next day we got our car towed to midas. I rollerbladed to enterprise and we rented a car, then I went to my Romans class and we discussed Romans 5:3-5.

"but we also boast in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope."

Now I've heard this verse many times, it's kinda a little motto verse you break out when people seem like they need encouragement. But it's meaning is deeper, and it makes me feel crappy. I generally cannot boast in my suffering because when I suffer it usually produces impatience and discomfort. Here's how it's supposed to work. The greek word for character is dokime, which means proof or evidence of trial. The word originates from the process of refining silver, the silver is exposed to extreme heat, impurities are burnt off and what remains is pure. Working backwards on the equation. Paul was suggesting that perseverance or patient endurance in response to suffering is the evidence of a Christlike character. Suffering is supposed to work in us as a purifyer.

So what's my problem? Well I'm a suck. First of all the Holy Spirit always informs me of this, being as what I'm calling suffering is actually superfical disarrangment of my comfortable life. I am not suffering like the early Christians did, I am not suffering like the people in Darfur, I am not suffering like the homeless, and the hungry, and the children from broken homes. The truth is I am not suffering, I may be experiencing discomfort, but mostly I'm being selfish. And what's sick about me is, I don't even respond to discomfort the way Jesus want's me to. I attempt to remedy it quickly, I use it to gain empathy from others, and I reflect me, not Jesus. I have always viewed my grandparents as people with beautiful character. When I hear the stories of suffering which they experienced, I have no doubt that their reaction was patient endurance, because their character has been refined, and they emanate hope.

So the way of Jesus is to suffer or endure discomfort well. In suffering or discomfort we are to reflect patient endurance.

It is not to consume us, for then we put a veil on the glory God wants to shine through us. When we are veiled we cannot represent Christ to a hurting world, we cannot be the fragrance of life, we become the stench of death, we cannot be the royal preists, we are not being transformed. Not only this but we rob ourselves and others the opportunity to be tested, to be refined, to experience a new refined character. And so in light of this, I no longer pray a miracle for my car, I pray for a miracle in me. I pray that my character would be transformed to better reflect Jesus.

Love Song

2006-10-06T11:34:00.000-04:00

V There's a love song that puts me to sleep
It calms my nerves and helps me to breathe
A simple love I've known for years
And I just want to hear Him sing it, wipe away my tears

There's a love song that sounds when I'm wrong
And when I dissapoint it, it keeps playing on
Now, I'm not worthy of it's delicate words
But I will always hear it, of this I am sure

C1 I love you,
I cry for you,
And I laid my life down for you,
Just to hear you say I love you too

I love you,
I wait for you,
And like a father whose lost his son,
With open arms I will run

I love you,
I know your name,
I know everything about you,
I just want you to know the same

B And he said to me...
Would you sing for me my love song
Would you sing it with your life
Cause there's so many yet to hear it
And I know its worth the fight

How can I spend with them enternity
If you keep holding to your fears
How can I change today's misery
If you keep comfort far to near
If you keep comfort o too near

C2 So I say Father...

I love you,
I'll live for you,
I lay this life down for you,
Just to hear you say I love you too

I love you,
I know your name,
As a child I will run to you,
In your arms I will stay

I love you.

My parents took this picture in Swizerland

2006-10-05T21:40:00.000-04:00

Never the Same

2006-10-05T17:50:00.000-04:00

V1 You are the same, you came to seek and save
You never change, forever and a day
You are my hope, you'll never let me go
You are the same, you never change

C O Rejoice,
O Rejoice in His name, O Rejoice,
That He came
O Rejoice,
O Rejoice in His name, O Rejoice,
We will never be the same

V2 You are the Lord, we are your servants
We die to us, we live in you
You are my Heaven, it's you I worship
You are the Lord, I live in you

B My breath, my heart, my passion, Lord
Will never be the same
This church, this house, your people, Lord
Will never be the same
To the lost and the broken
We will declare your name,
For the poor and the hungry, Lord
We will never be the same

C I rejoice,
I rejoice I in your name, Jesus I rejoice
That you came
I rejoice,
I rejoice in your name, I rejoice
I will never be the same

Subject to Change. "Humility"

2006-10-05T17:37:00.000-04:00

Today unlike many other days I sat down at my keyboard piano. (it's a nice Yamaha, but it doesn't have weighted keys, I'd really like weighted keys). God gave me a song. I know it sounds too simple but it’s true, I was shaking, I’m still shaking, my hands are quivering. I can’t stop thinking, God is speaking to me. I can’t stop singing the song either. The message is simple and I know not original, Paul talks about it. Christians are intended to change. We are meant to change, the world depends on us changing. God is constant, pure, holy, everlasting, and before we meet Him we are the opposite, but when we meet him our soul changes, but the stuff on the outside takes a while. We don’t like to change, change is difficult, so often we remain the same on the outside while God has changed our inside. All week I’ve been dealing with this battle, I’m full of pride, and when I walk down the halls of my school I put people down. Now I used to not care about this attitude, but the HS kept telling me it was wrong (change it he’d say) now I care, but I can’t stop doing it. There’s all kinds of things I do that need changing, God persistently challenges me, and I believe this is the difference. I either worship God and become subject to change... according to His likeness or I fall back to worshipping myself, choosing to worship my decisions, my attitudes, my lifestyle, me.

And so the way of Jesus is humility, we must die to ourselves, to me mentality, we are to reflect Christ by living as servants to God, our neighbors, enemies, and yes even our loved ones.

What made Jesus angry? "Judge yourself first"

2006-10-01T14:38:00.000-04:00

Story Summary (Mark 11:1-21)

Jesus arrives triumphantly in Jerusalem, he enters riding a colt, and people shout a liturgy while they spread their cloaks and palm branches on the road in a celebratory fashion. As the day nears its end Jesus pays a visit to the temple, what he observes provides the grounds of his actions that were to follow the next day. Jesus stayed the night in Bethany just outside of Jerusalem. The next day as Jesus and his disciples were heading back into town, Jesus is said to have been hungry so he attempts to get some food from a fig tree. The fig tree doesn’t have any figs on it, and then Jesus decides to curse the tree saying “May no one ever eat fruit from you again”. Then Jesus returns to the temple, there he forcefully drives out all vendors and merchants; he flips over tables and refuses to allow merchandise to be carried through the temple courts. He then explains the reasoning behind his actions saying “My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations, but you have made it a den of robbers”. This caused a reaction of astonishment within the crowd, and a stir within the chief priests and scribes who decided they’d like to kill him. Jesus again returns to Bethany for the evening, and then embarks for Jerusalem the following day. The next day the disciples noticed that the fig tree which Jesus had cursed was now withered.

My thoughts

It is interesting that in the most popular story about Jesus’ anger, his anger is directed not at the Gentiles but at his own people. It is safe to say that what made Jesus angry was the letdown of his own people. It was the fact that they were so absorbed in themselves that they didn’t even recognize their messiah, they didn’t respect his house, and most importantly in great parallel to the fig tree, they were not producing fruit. God had revealed himself to them for a purpose, they were to be a “royal priesthood” (Exodus 19:6). They were supposed to be God’s representatives to the world, and they weren’t even allowing the Gentiles their spot to pray in the Temple courtyard. When the priests and scribes who were viewed as “religious” or “God’s chosen” to the community didn’t act accordingly, his patience had run out, Jesus got angry. In the same way those who have a personal relationship with Christ (Christians) today have a responsibility. We are as 1 Peter 2:9-12 says “a royal priesthood” intended to declare God’s praises to the world. It is then our responsibility because of the gift of salvation we have received to live in such a way that others might see God through us, if we do not we are not fulfilling our intended purpose we are justifiably subject to God’s anger. Even more does this not imply that we should reserve our judgment first against ourselves (Christians), ensuring that those who claim to be in a relationship with God act accordingly, instead of judging against the actions of those (Non-Believers) who do not claim to know God?

Thus the way to of Jesus is to judge yourself first, to ensure you are reflecting Christ before you condem someone else as not.